your love is ain't but a lie

you said that the moon is full
but wait it is just but a waning tide
you said that the sun will shine
but i waited and waited and it's still dark
you said that the roses will grow
it's already fall and the grass is gone

now all i have is a bottle of beer
now all i have is an empty beach
now all i have is the hot sand
so i better sleep for your love is
but a passing tide
for there is really none...
for it is a sham...
and it is but...a living lie...

'cause i have you, not...

laughs, gosh! we thought we are loved but the truth is, we are not, sad gals, right? for love is presence, love is a letter, love is a phone call, love is always there, not just a shadow that you thought that you saw...

and yes, true love is..."cause i have you"...not just a magnificent illusion that a magician do for his show to entertain by cheating and doing tricks for his audience. sort of lying for our plain eyes to see...love is not playing with your muse guys for love is an intense emotion that needed not to be played upon or else you will lose it and that will just leave you devastated to the max...writers and poets play with words, painters and artists create images with multitude of possibilities of interpreting them but love is either you do or you do not, that simple, really (^_*)...if it is otherwise or you get the run around, that is the signal that someone out there is just playing you out for a fool...and we are much more wiser than that, right gals? laughs. oh well. so many words that are just words...so many songs that are just songs. the rule of the thumb for true love is... love is never a game, like this song :) now time to take a longer blogging break? maybe, but don't or never always count on it, although you might do this time, laughs...as if i have an audience here...but at least i am not playing around with tricks for i say it as it is...no beating around the bushes, life is short i have no time for that. i leave the fakes and i take the real with me, and that is not a metaphor and so should you, only select the true and the tried :)

what makes my day a victory, a repost...

when the sun shines as bright on a cloudless sky. when the stars twinkle till dawn of night. when the rainbow emit bold colors in the sky. when the rain will stop and you can smell the grass, the flowers, the earth with that magical, natural perfumy blast...

when your love ones care and make you feel that way. when your day is filled with ecstasy instead of agony. when your dreams are slowly making its way to your face. when you felt you've made a difference to a life that's in need of help...

when your life is slowly passing by and you can let out a smile. when you sleep at night and your shoulders aren't as tight. when you've sacrificed and did what's right. when you've paved the way to a future that will be bright...

...that when you close your eyes at night you can hear God in your heart saying to you... "well done my daughter...i am truly proud"...

how to fix it...per our president :)

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Someday, Somewhere, Sometime

With eyes gazing upon that endless sky
Up above that soaring sun on high
Where all stars twinkle and all planets run
Beyond our reach, not on the palms of our hands

Muted memories dancing in the wind
Mind mesmerized, can't ever comprehend
Guts and glories, all cares and complexities
Left for tomorrow to shuffle and to bear

Dreams do come true, maybe
Wishes will, if you believe really
As smiles shine hope hinges see
Truly wondering when will it be

Walking all alone under a tree lined road
Thinking of houses in different forms
Where is the best, which and whose abode
Will capture one's heart spirit and soul

But somewhere in that distant sea
Or sometime when the clock strikes three
Someday soon it will be
Our wants, our desires our dreams would set us free...

Until the end, until death will take it all away...
***
very sad that life is just like a song. it has a beginning and an end. but even then, life is still beautiful even how short it is. imagine those aborted kids or fetuses, they never saw the light of day. they never had the chance to enjoy life as we know it. innocent lives intentionally ended by their own flesh and blood and that is one of the greatest sadness in this world. defenseless, forgotten, unneeded, unloved...

water breakthrough

clear as that passing cloud in the sky
white as a dove on air flying high
pure as a heart true and tried
water gushing, suddenly soaring
in a fit of delight...

image is from manila bulletin :)

Joy should rule at the end...

whatever it is that comes in life that brought darkness, joy should win...for life is happiness with sadness in between. life is like the sun that gives light and love, life is like the moon with its borrowed light from the sun that lights our way at night...(like our borrowed life that we must return when the time comes) as the sun is created by God to light our path...

blogging must continue, only in drops of bits and pieces timed longer in between. so back to blogging time off :) after this recent grand canyon subaru outback commercial, cool :)

memories and remembrances

as i think about my favorite guyabano smoothie, first taste was while waiting for a plane trip back home from a philippine vacation. things that you like it's kinda hard to erase them from your memory...the best smoothie ever...an amazing grace... where they come in little forms and in big forms, in between disappointments and big time sadness like today as we remember and reflect the 9-11 tragedy as the rain kept pouring as if the sky is weeping, another gloomy day...as i think about ending this blog or not. we'll see ...(^&*)...

i cry in silence that only God can hear
i carry the load of life in my shoulders
i do it in every step of the stairs
without rest, without regrets
without a tear seen by others...

as most of the families touched by 9-11
i cry in silence that only God can hear...

next year will be the 10th anniversary
the sadness, the remembrances will be like no other...

what is the color of hope

is it green that covers the mountains and the prairies
is it blue that far canopy space above your head
or is it muted red that glares and vanish with the sunset
or is it petal pink that slowly opens when a flower emerges

an open window where the wind slowly flows
an open door where foot prints start to roll
or an open space in the sky where kites freely fly
or an ocean front where endless waves are gently waving by

what is the color of hope
is it the voice that you recorded
or the song that you sang
is it the letter that you composed
or the verses that you inscribed

what is the color of hope

is it that dawn... that won over the night?

images are from the www. top is by connie tom, bottom image is by daniel y. go titled "Hope" the true colors of God's painting, and the middle is by michael varcas, manila bulletin...thank you all for your grand and spectacular images, as if they are reading me...(^&*)...

we remember labor...

it is an overcast sky today. the day is dim and the clouds are just hanging up there. maybe because labor here in the U.S. is outsourced, passed on and shipped overseas, most of it. everything you buy here is made in china or somewhere else. it is labor day but it is being celebrated under gray skies. more fitting because labor is sick here, moved by the rich owners of these 40,000 manufacturing companies where labor is cheap because of greed for more profit. labor most of it had left so there is just a somber ambiance and sadness in the sky because maybe in tune with the sufferings of a lot of the unemployed americans. i can only hope that within the next decade labor will boom again here. i can only pray that the U.S. will win the race to that green technology that will create lots of jobs to who ever country that will be the victor. the technology that will free us from fossil fuels in running our cars, running our industries what ever is left here and heating our homes. the inventions are in progress not only here but amongst other rich countries. whoever will win this race this country will be the next super power in the world which only america holds the crown at this moment. i hope it will be the U.S. who will come up with this technology, either extracted from the sun, the wind, the water or by any other means and the source is renewable so it is never depleted and it won't pollute the environment for that is very important. 10 years is very long indeed to wait for this technology to be developed, such researches are being made in cloning oil properties with the help of algae, imagine that. and batteries are being made to run our cars instead of gas. slowly but surely we hope labor will be back again here in the U.S. so we can celebrate labor day more in a positive way with fireworks and parades... unlike now...there is nothing much to celebrate...

"you can shine against all odds" but...

...there is a caveat...you must not be into drugs, (ex. crystal meth or shabu, cocaine or the cheap version of it called crack, or marijuana which is the starter of it all) you must not be in the grip of alcohol, plus the lure of the smokey tobacco...if one is in a drug binge and they add alcohol such as beer, whiskey, vodka, johnny walker, red horse or san miguels, the combination of these is devastating and life threatening for alcohol in any form enhances the effects of these drugs to the roof plus it will also make one not fully in charge of their faculties or can't think straight as they will be stoned. you wonder why so many young adults are into drugs, maybe because of peer pressures and the desire to experiment or as a means to escape life but sadly they really do not fully comprehend the dire consequences of this illicit drug use and also the use of some prescription ones. once you're hooked it is like a prison cell. you did the deeds and you suffer the consequences plus causing heart aches for your families. i am a nurse so i am very familiar to such lives lived by drug addicts. they tend and try to be normal and live normally but you could always tell...one day their secrets will be out and i will just say to myself, you're right, very right...this reminds me of a great actress and a singer that i like. rumored to be in this habit which is probably so...and somebody else...just sad...now how would you offer help to these individuals? first they needed to be made aware that there is help out there, rehab but in the true sense of that word and they need to take charge of their own recovery first hand. they need to realize that drugs and alcohol plus tobacco is or are the devil in disguise, the demon that is dressed up as a pleasant helper of making them cope with whatever nerves they think they can't control. but sadly the usage of such is the start of a spiral to the great abyss of a life that is dark and destined to fail at the end, just watch...although it can be stopped and the solution is per the former first lady, mrs. reagan's slogan then in her efforts to fight drug abuse here in the U.S. is..."JUST SAY NO TO DRUGS" plus saying no to etoh aka alcohol and tobacco use as well...life lived free of these is life lived longer, happier and in you totally in control of your life and your destiny, good luck :)  ...maybe now i can stay away from blogging for awhile, maybe, (^&*)...

i love elvis :)

as i am trying hard to sing one of his songs, laughs. again, just for fun why not :? even out of tune i do try. i am a sport what could i say, laughs. although this camera could not record the whole tune, sadly. now maybe i can say bye to blogging for awhile for i will remember you, just don't count on it, laughs. my memory is as thin now as the love of a fly, a wasp or a butterfly for it does not last long and it does not count... (^&*)... so let's switch to an owl, or to an eagle. perhaps, or maybe we will have better luck :) love and luck after all are intertwined, sometimes, maybe or maybe not :? but whatever it is, keep on looking and trying to find love :> don't lose hope for that is the worst, right guys?...(^_~)...wow, this music thing really cracks me up, laughs, on how bad i am as a singer, take one and two and still i'm a failure. oh well, i think i better stop singing, plus blogging as well, but don't count on it. it's hard to give justice to the king's voice, what could i say :) i better stick to pilita's, laughs, gosh! and yes, what's good with blogging is that you can unleash your other loose twin self, laughs, for i am really a serious human being most of the time. so thanks to blogger where you can be free to express your other self...as you please, which sometimes it's fun but other times it's the opposite...but hey, life is short, get more fun out of it :)

JOY is a flower...

even of a fake apple tree...joy is pink flowers of a crab apple tree...(nicked from the www, thanks to you who owns it :) even though it is only an imitation of the true apple, still it is a joy to look at and behold :) not unlike a fake jewelry because you can't afford the originals for they cost millions, in pesos...it's not for me though...for anything fake is truly abhorable and it is no joy...glad that i am not into jewelries, (^&*) but who cares, laughs. yes, to end a blog is similar to sunrises and sunsets. you wanted it but can't seem to execute it. your desire wanes and waxes as that far distant moon. so my mantra is, the blog will end itself when the time comes, sooner or later or maybe never...

a hostage situation at discovery channel in maryland had ended with the perpetuator dead and all the hostages were safe. i could only wished that to have happened as well in the philippines but sadly it did not. so many hostages died tragically in that incident and it is not a bringer of joy...

kong bakit may hangganan ang pag-ibig

hanggang doon na lamang at salamat
wala nang maitatakbo sagad na ang bigat
naibuhos na ang laman nang dagat
wala nang tubig kapos sa ulan
ang init nang araw ang nakawagawag

sa mga pagsubok na ibinanat
nayupi ka at di nakapasa at lumampas
dahil sa ang pag-ibig mo sa tuwina
pagbabalatkayo lang at hindi tutuo pala

paalam at salamat
sa mga pagkukunwari na dinanas
hindi ka pala tutuo sa aking buhay
kundi isa ka lamang pa lang
panandalian na bituwin
na nawawala sa alapaap...

hmn, i wonder if these tagalog string of words match the causes of heart breaks and goodbyes love wise...maybe all or maybe some but definitely these are some parts of why love had gone out :) for love after all is an emotion that has an end or it will go on forever if...and it relies on how it was handled, taken cared of and so on and so forth...the lesson here is love dies as love lives, love continues and it will end and it depends on how you had taken cared of it, just based on my own observations, (^&*)...ergo, love is not forever, so sad isn't it? for that love is not really true, it's a fake, laughs. oh well.

and it is not fun and joy when you hear about the loss of the golden voice that you've enjoyed listening to and it must be more devastating to ms. nora aunor. life is very unpredictable with its twists and turns. but losing something as your trade mark is probably just as similar when she and christopher de leon had parted ways. btw, that love is a fake as well...but life must go on. i would think that she will be compensated fully for all that trouble though the return of her voice is a better option...good luck nora :) i am still a fan and will always be no matter what, with golden voice or none :)

the combat mission is over in iraq, but...

...there will still be around 50,000 U.S. military personnel that will remain to help the government in a supportive role...the war there is almost over, almost. although in Afghanistan it is a very different story. the U.S. is still in active combat role where everyday there are casualties of war. this makes me ponder the value of life and freedom. in the past and up to the present it showed that to obtain and have a grip of freedom, lives are being lost and are being sacrificed. one might think, is it worth it...to the families of these fallen heroes it is a very costly sacrifice. i could only hope that we won't take our freedom for granted as we go about to live our lives in every single day and not to forget to thank these brave young men and women, dead or alive for their endearing and enduring and their very patriotic contributions to this country which is unmatched to anything out there. to fight for freedom and to defend your country i think is the noblest profession there is of all time bar none...last night's address in the oval office by President Obama :)

together...

They Walk … Together

The early morning mist rises all around them
Their souls alight; swirling with the breeze
A graceful dance; they walk together
Her hand in his; feelings linger
He slowly breathes her in
She follows willingly
It is their destiny
A shared path
Soul mates
Together

Artist: Leonid Afremov; Poet: Mike Evans

music is a mist sprinkled forever

it is sometimes an angelic whisper
that you hear in your dreams
it is sometimes the sound of the
raindrops falling into your garden
it is sometimes the toss of the waves
at that far distant beach
or the ruffle of the wind as they
pass through in between the leaves
or the heart throbs of many humans
as they go about their daily lives

music is a language and a key
that may close or open a heart
music is very important
for music is a mist
that is sprinkled forever
in our path
you hear it every day
at the moment you wake up
till the moment you sleep at night...

the crab apple tree

it looked like a true apple but it is really not. it is an ornamental tree. the blooms in spring are gorgeous! its fruit is eaten by deers and birds and can be made into jellies for human consumption as well.

in the inner garden where roses bloom...

how would you end a blog...that is the nagging question. i've been bothered by it since the very start of this on line activity. i'll let the blog ends itself, hows that...this blog can even record me singing, ranting, complaining, posing and doing stuffs like writing lots of string of words in my own way. call that poetry? but it's just piles and piles of words re-arranged here and there whatever mood i am in at that day. so here goes, there goes and that's that :> that is saint therese at the inner garden er sanctuarium of the shrine of the little flower church taken on cruise day, last saturday. and i love pilita. here i am trying hard to sing one of her song in visaya pa ha that i've never spoken before. tsk! what a sorry voice. 3x na take and still it is with mistakes. oh well! and 300 for kris, 20 for james...that is the right moolah division, if i'm asked and if mr. yap wants more then that is not right...he never made this lady happy, so he is not entitled to more money kasi it's kris pawis naman diba? siguro never na naisip ni mr. basketball na kris can let him go for he thought that she loved him to death as well, right? but wrong, ms. aquino is no bobo, i knew that a long time ago...if you're not happy it's time to bail out not unless you have a very valid reason not to do so :) i know i am a filipino born person but i do kinda sort of think unfilipino sometimes :) maybe because of the environment i am in and maybe because my mind shuffles and coughs up the more likely better solution or better route, laughs, as if you cared :?




and how would you end a relationship where trust is broken? here, it is by divorce as its twin annulment in the philippines. the tiger and his wife did it. their divorce is now final. elin woods did the right thing :) as i've said before if someone did it once the probability is high that he'll do it again. love is precious, we need to take care of it like a plant for it to grow and stay alive or else it will die... if you do something there are consequences as the tiger's golf performance is also going down the drain like his marriage had ...and he could only blame himself...wow, sad that some deranged people would take innocent civilians as hostages to push their agendas. and as we know more likely than not it won't have positive results...good job for venus for making it as the 4th runner up in that ms. universe pageant :)

and on air now is one of newell oler's great piano pieces, help me make it through the night, a favorite tune as well similar to spanish romance. i truly love everything spanish, my beautiful virgin mary look alike benefactor is espanol...but, also this tune is titled, "forbidden games" that kiss like an infidel, sort of like joke, laughs. no kidding, this song is hauntingly and heartbrokenly beautiful...if there is a description like that...my kind of songs for i go for the feeling and the heavy dramas, laughs. i just like them...for life is like a song...and we needed divine help most of the times in our lives to be able to live truly in the christian way :)

***life is like a song***

the raven is even singing a hauntingly
sad lullaby since you've said goodbye
the moon had lost its shine
since your face i can no longer touch
the night became so much longer
when you bid farewell and walked out in my life
the sun won't shine again in my eyes
for you're no longer here in my arms

you've left and you've torn my heart apart
you've died and now i only have
these dried dead roses in my hands
the shadows, the dark are now at my skies
for love had left and never ever to come back
as the stairs are left in disrepair
as the ladders are broken and tired...

love is a sham, love is you, love has died and never ever to be revived...
*** *** ***

A story to live by...Life in a Nutshell... thanks to Mr. Ricardo F. Lo's article at Philstar :)

There was a blind girl who hated herself because she was blind. She hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend. He was always there for her. She told her boyfriend, “If I could only see the world, I will marry you.”

One day, someone donated a pair of eyes to her. When the bandages came off, she was able to see everything, including her boyfriend.

He asked her, “Now that you can see the world, will you marry me?”

The girl looked at her boyfriend and saw that he was blind. The sight of his closed eyelids shocked her. She hadn’t expected that. The thought of looking at them the rest of her life led her to refuse to marry him.

Her boyfriend left in tears and days later wrote a note to her saying: “Take good care of your eyes, my dear, for before they were yours, they were mine.”

(Note: Moral of the story? Read on.)

This is how the human brain often works when our status changes.

Only a very few remember what life was like before, and who was always by their side in the most painful situations.

Life is a gift.

Today, before you say an unkind word— Think of someone who can’t speak.

Before you complain about the taste of your food —Think of someone who has nothing to eat.

Before you complain about your husband or wife—Think of someone who’s crying out to GOD for a companion.

Today, before you complain about life—Think of someone who died too early on this earth.

Before you complain about your children—Think of someone who desires children but they’re barren.

Before you argue about your dirty house someone didn’t clean or sweep—Think of the people who are living in the streets.

Before whining about the distance you drive—Think of someone who walks the same distance with their feet.

And when you are tired and complain about your job—Think of the unemployed, the disabled, and those who wish they had your job.

But before you think of pointing the finger or condemning another—Remember that not one of us is without sin.

And when depressing thoughts seem to get you down—Put a smile on your face and think: you’re alive and still around...

SMILE even only for awhile...(^&*)... remember now life is like a song...(^_~)...it has a beginning and an end, it is sad and happy in between...and maybe this is the right time to end a blog. hmn, if ever the music with different tunes still continues...the end after all is the beginning of another chapter in our lives and we call that turning a new page, metaphorically speaking of course. although randomly posting is another option, we'll see...

the buck stops here...

there will always be the first time to feel the heat... when you have a head of a state, then you have somebody to blame about things that went sour in your part of the world. death even only one IF it could have been prevented? is too many esp. if your country will be a prime time news producer at CNN as well so therefore things that have gone awry is broadcasted all through out the whole universe, manned on unmanned. now here comes again the IF word. it should be vanished in the dictionary for it will just make you dream of things that can't or won't happen for these are just things dangling in your mind, like dancing possibilities which can or never will be a reality, so ergo a waste of your brain cells my friend. the best recourse is to admit that mistakes were made in handling this hostage situation and pay some compensation to the families after giving them a heartfelt sorry and apology. then MAKE SURE that it will NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN. it should be a hard lesson learned for the government and do whatever it takes to make sure that these lives did not die in vain...life is precious, sometimes it is taken away so that we might learn from it and made wiser...the buck stops here... and my guess is that  pres. noy is just as miserable as those families who will have to suffer the loss of their love ones for that is intense pain that won't go away forever. love lost is a chip or a part of us lost or gone and life will never ever be the same again. to these families we could only offer our prayers that God may lift them up in these hard and trying times...for God heals all our wounds as God renews our hearts every moment of every single day and all we have to do is trust and believe in Him :>

IF...

if you were in my shoes what would you do. would you be able to lick the wound and hope it will heal for you. would you be able to open the windows and let the nasty air pass through. would you eat that piece of cake which you knew it's not good for you. what would you do? ...the thing is these are all IFs, like the thought of planning our tomorrows which we don't even own. just as many are not happy with Venus' answer to that tricky question in that pageant, it is done. just think that it was her show and that she did her best and gave her best, let's be happy with that. it wasn't meant to be so that was it. IF is really a tricky word, for IF is not for us it is for her to answer that question...i know some people are just too critical of her but again it is her question to answer and not our's. too bad that you thought that she could have done better or worst that they could have done better which brings us again to the word IF...like IF they were her, but sadly they don't have that crown to represent the Phil. in this event for she had...yes, IF...i don't think it is really right to entertain this IF word because it is similar to something that is just blowing in the wind, meaning nothing of significance or of importance nothing concrete. it is purely an illusion or an imagination...hmn, i wonder (IF)...(^_~)... she could have answered this way...we are all humans, we make mistakes and to own them or to acknowledge them is a very good start. but for now my mistakes are just nil i would say and not worth mentioning them, like forgetting to admit that i made mistakes and apologize for them, laughs :) although it maybe different 10 or 20 years from now. by that time God willing i have traveled far and wide, i have experienced more pains and happiness and maybe by then i must have encountered and made some significant blunders in my life that i will deeply regret later. so to admit, to accept, to apologize and to make amends esp. to people that i've hurt if that will be the case, how's that :)

Cruisin' Time in the USA by Tom Lazaros

it's raining on the classic cars' parade today. time for the annual Woodward Dream Cruise where car aficionados all over the U.S. come and display their classic car collections by cruising Woodward Avenue, here in the suburbs of Detroit, the motor city... J.C. was saying, i'd like to bring the Philippine jeepney here mom, laughs...and drive it on this parade as well. of all the days past it was sunny except today, wow, i hope i can get some good shots to post later :) cruisin' in your Chevrolet...now i remember my first car, a Camaro Chevrolet or Chevy made by GM, one of their sports car whom they stopped production but recently revived or reproduced them again :>

too many pics of cars to upload and it is making me lazy. it is nice looking at them but who can afford such luxury of owning these classics? i know the CEO's of those 40,000 something manufacturing companies that moved to China for cheap labor causing 10-12 million americans unemployed so they can't pay their mortgages and ending up losing their homes to foreclosures and the real reason for the economic down turn here and all over the world for they invested heavily on the real estate market the american way. you can't seem to notice it for people are still cruising dreamily with their classic cars. maybe they also popped up some champagne and celebrate it with their friends in background pink, laughs, before they started their drives. oh well. hmn, now if you are invited to be included in an art festival where God, or Jesus is the center of their universe then that is definitely a trick to change your stream of thought. they were hoping perhaps that you gonna change your style which i've read somewhere that ain't gonna happen. or they're trying to grab you out from the demons? hmn, then you are in a dilemma. so watch your steps for either you'll be a winner or a loser :) to be or not to be that is the question and yes that is a borrowed line somewhere...

wow, kris do not want to be a doormat like susan, loi and lani that's why she is making james the past like her two exes? i read that somewhere. a doormat, that is not nice. but really now they are just tolerant and maybe love their hubbies to death, laughs. love is blind? that is nonsense. if your husband wants another woman get out of the way, right? give him his happiness and leave or set him free as simple as that. but of course that is my take. love and respect go hand in hand. if one is lost the door is closed...plain and simple :)again life is but once so you can't fail er you must not fail anybody. although people change as the passing of time so use divorce or annulment philippine style. please don't be a martyr in torturing yourself not unless there is a very valid reason for it :) your own happiness and your own well being is at stake...