love in circles...

when one is supposed to be in love happiness should be the result which usually is. but as we look around love birds are happy today but wait until tomorrow the sky is blue. so love is not immune to grief, sadness and heavy hearts. people die one reason so your love, muse, or partner departs. then a few managed to fell in love with some younger amores. ex. demi and maybe you :) sadly it doesn't last for eternity, but so is love birds of the same age living in the same generation. i'm pretty sure that there are unions that survived the challenges of love whatever the circumstances they came to unite as there are unions that won't. it is maybe in the maturity, in the intensity and truthfulness of that love that these love birds share. temptations abound. illusions like magic are just like in the movie world that is full of acting. so it is not real. if there is real love i think it should survive the test of time :) and of course it is better to have fallen in love even if the end is a mess than to not have loved at all... i am really non judgemental to whoever anyone had fallen in love with. i am happy if people are happy. and there is no one to blame if love did not succeed for there is not real love that had existed in the first place so it failed... for some love works and some don't... no matter what their age is :> although it is really advisable to love your own kind all the way for lesser problems but in some rare cases love survives even in the hot desert of the sahara, laughs, yes that is a metaphor :) ... so guys and gals take your chance in love for love is better than hate. if there is a reason better than this, i will be truly surprised :) and if you fell in love no one should call you stupid for who knows if they are in your shoes they might probably will do too as well... so mind your own business should be directed to these people, laughs. really love is very complicated. if you found love then nurture it. love is like a plant, it will die when not watered and cultivated... that simple :) and i think love if it's phony it won't never succeed...(^&*)... let time rides its course, if love is true it will reveal itself at the end :)  in the mean time let's not feast on other people's love business, laughs. but seriously there is a bible passage that goes like this: Matthew 7:1 "Do not judge, or you too will be judged...

Autism Speaks...

Autism, a Robber in Broad Daylight

How do you feel when it's dark all day
How do you see if nothing lights your way
How do you do your chores
How do you cook and clean
Tell me, how, in the absence of the sun

Will you see at night when the moon is gone
Will the stars above have that enough shine
Will the owls, the fox, or the dog can dance
Will the cat, the cow or the rat can run
Tell me, if you can see shadows in the dark

Why does a child can't read or write
Why does a boy can't play with a ball
Why does a girl can't play with a doll
Why do some kids can't ride a two wheel bike
Tell me, why, some children can't understand

Do you sing and dance with them
Do you smile and laugh with them
Do you do their jobs for them
Do you, can you, tell them what to do
Tell me how to open up a tight igloo

Autism, with that mind altering bug
Robbing a child's intelligence once
Permanently erasing memory lane
No sun, no mornings, no moon, no dreams...

michael, my special boy do not even know what a door, "window" or TV meant. he has no interest in such things...but there is a consolation, he knows how to swim like a fish better than you and me :)

and did you know that my special son taught me the most important lessons about life than anyone could ever do. first i learned to be humble and thankful with what i have in this life. looking at him everyday i am reminded about the gift of being a normal person, my gift of speech, michael cannot speak except for mama and for that alone i am thankful. now i am more compassionate to families with the same predicament like i have. it is true that you won't know how a person feels not unless you are in their shoes. i learned how to be sensitive to other people's feelings, most of the time, i admit :) i learned to be more prayerful and to rely on my faith for strength to carry on with life of abnormality because i am different, i have a special, retarded, autistic child...but most importantly i learned that mentally challenged people are human beings as well. they need love and care and being a part of their lives is a gift and a chance to serve God in this life...St. Michael is the angel that protects the kingdom of God from the devil...and may i say that in our household, the devil is always on the look out for we have Michael :) though the real lesson here is how life's trials turned me into a better person...although that is just the tip of the iceberg here so to speak. with or without life's tribulations, life has limits, in seconds or in one hundred years this if we are blessed enough. this knowledge alone that we won't be here in this life forever is itself an incentive to act reasonably better or be a much nicer human being. we don't even need to be a genius to figure that out. but as usual what do we do? we make other people's lives miserable and difficult as if there are not enough burdens that these people have to bear or carry in their shoulders already, just my keen observation...nobody is perfect, except God. you might have been blessed financially, born without defect, granted some very exceptional talent that you can't take with you when you die... but these do not give you the right to speak, use your God given talent to oppress your fellow men...my take :) ...just something to keep in mind as we live our borrowed lives in this ever changing but beautiful planet earth :)

last night at work a co-worker was worried about having wrinkles but i told her that i will trade lots of wrinkles for a miracle making michael a normal child...i'm always told that i am aging gracefully, laughs. well, maybe because of the special climate here, or the camera is kind, or they are blind...(^&*)...i want to live for more than a century because of michael or else i've lived enough. i have experienced a lot in life already and i'm convinced that i am truly blessed. it started with an image of our mother of perpetual help when i was young at my side of the wall in our humble abode then. i was always helped, looked at, spared, saved at pinagpala since the very beginning so i can not ask for more... but no i am asking now that i will win the lotto, not for me but for all the down throddens in this world that i could touch with that much money. it will pretty sure makes my life busier, more colorful, more happier and more fulfilled...will this happen, only God knows but there is always nothing wrong with having hope...(^_~)...my life won't be just a ride to nowhere if ever...plus i will stop blogging by then :> as if anybody cared. but i knew no one does...

favorite videos :)

i always visit my past postings. they bring happiness to me...(^_~)...maybe i will make a video of me and saya in the future...(^&*)...a big maybe :>

slums in our midst

my house is silent but loud, my dreams are as damp and cold as the water that surrounds. my life is stripped of hope, my wish is for someone to notice my dirty and dusty road.

my clothes hang loosely to dry, my roof is patched and old, my food is stale and just leftovers i begged at dawn, my love ones are suffering, sick, and tired to the bones.

my eyes can't see the light, my head aches and full of thorns, my hair is filled with grime, my clothes tattered and torn, my body is tired and lost, my thin hands tremble with the cold as the rain falls and drops from those holes.

my house is unsteady and sways with the wind, my pillows are hastily patched with unwanted fabrics scattered around. my blanket smells like rotten rats, unwashed for weeks, life is hard.

so many of us live around like this
so many of us suffer silently in agony
so many of us are drained and doomed
so many of us needs help but are totally ignored...

we all have just one life to live. imagine living it in poverty...no it's not crocodile tears, i'm pretty sure if you cry for the poor that one must be true to your heart...i'm inclined to believe...(^&*)...but no one knows for sure really except you and God :)...all we can do is judge you by your actions of helping the disadvantaged, the downtrodden, the poor, the hungry and the likes not your words or tears :)...for so much lies happen in our lives. so much blinding fakes to make us fall into make believe worlds that do not exist. action speaks louder that words. so if you stick to this mantra you will know the truth :) you will be able to screen the play from the acts...and you will know the real...

compared to the rest of goodbyes, goodbye to poverty is never a sad time...

tunes and blooms...

they make us pause, they make us smile and reminisce about life... these are pink roses from my garden, one nice summer. cute, don't you think :) one reason gardening is an excellent hobby... take it from me :>



a new day came after the darkest dawn...

after all the black eagle's crew
came the red cardinal's row
whistling, chirping
dancing and dangling
at the branches
of my evergreen
at my window

what a refreshing sight to see
with its bright color
red to reign
as my blood rise
to welcome a new dawn
in this earth of
so many failed dreams

one bird, a cardinal's chirp
playing softly
as the wind blows
at this pine's
needles' bed
first and front
lively and bright

o cardinal, you could
be a Christmas delight
the bird of Christ
red with charm
bringer of good luck
for dawn is here
a new day has come

goodbye to the past
let's rise and shine
a new beginning
is begging to be done
as a new path
is drawn for us
by our own loving God :)

some people are atheist and non-believers of the existence of God. in our short timed life on earth the worst thing ever for a creation to do is not to recognize his creator. his life would suffer in consequence for i firmly believe that we can't go on living just by our own. there is a God who is omnipresent, omnipotent and omniscient. this is the key to a much more fulfilled and happier life :) plus of course, express your love to the object of your affection. if not you will lose them for how would they know that they are loved? they are not God for one, laughs. and yes, give love to receive love, always. the main reason that we lost our muses or love is, they believed that they are not loved anymore so ergo it's our own fault actually. now that is one epiphany, take it from me, laughs for i could be a love guru. love is an affection. it can be lost when not taken care of. now guys and gals take this as a lesson learned in this blog :) remember show your love so it could be felt by him or her, again that is the key...(^_~)...or else your life will be dark not light...(^&*)...and we wouldn't want that for love makes the world go round, right? laughs. oh well.

there are so many saints that have dedicated their lives to God and to their fellowmen. their examples are eye openers. but there are so many wasted lives whose deaths could have made a dent or importance. now the question is, will our own life now could be maneuvered so our own death sooner or later could be programmed so people would say, his or her life had meaning instead of it was meaningless. ergo, playing games in our lifetime is a waste. you think you have plenty of time but on the contrary life is being shortened in every breath that we take...

last all saint's day J.C. and me went to the shrine of our little flower church to light a candle for my dad, and the late husband of my benefactor and for all those that went before us. it was 6:30 PM then and when we got out of church i looked up in the sky and there was the smiley moon. as if it was my dad smiling at me in heaven. yes papang, i did all my best for you to be proud of me :> even if it meant sadness for me. you knew, God knew and that's all it matters...

shake and grind baby :) nov. '09

entertainment by the road side. folksy, lovely and lively. taken on our way to patar beach. i love it!

the winds of change

but actually change is everyday as life is a lot of circles of movements. the season changes as life changes. we grow old as we move on... from one partner to the next. from one muse to another muse... but one is constant, the music must remain even if all the girls had left... i thought this would be a nice holy week hiatus intermission :) above image is taken after a sunset. i took this inside a running vehicle on our way back to manila from the province Nov. '09... i think the journey on most of our trips is almost as beautiful as our destination. so maybe we could drive a little slower to enjoy the view, just a thought... this is if you are one of the blessed, lucky bunch who was given the privilege to be able to travel, to savor what is out there maybe because of your job, life's status or simply your destiny to be able to explore and visit places that others just can't...so why waste your God given gift... make the most of it and share it to the world :)

is it a sunset or a sunrise...

as i open my window drape there you are
i was asleep and i can't even tell if it's day or night
the memories had left me and my mind is blank
as i try to figure out what is that scene in front of my eyes

are you a sunrise or a sunset that is so beautiful that i can cry
are you a pasted painting on the horizon that i can't reach and grab
an elusive beauty so indelible that forever will be etched in time
i want to have you constantly every time i wake up anywhere anytime

but sadly you are owned by mother nature a teaser in disguise
only a temporary display in the sky that changes every moment in time
so i have to wait for another morning or another night
just to have you again, just to experience you again

but that is fine...

are you a sunrise or a sunset
still i can't figure that out
but maybe when i can answer
that question if it's day or night
i might have the elusive answer
but now i am totally in a bind...

though maybe when there is a compass in my hands
it will tell me where's the west so that's a sunset
and a sunrise always comes in the east
every morning of our lives

but in a picture or in an image
where there's no direction that you can find
you are left in a guessing game
like asking your muse, do you love me or not...

Valentine's Day

Muse, bid the morn awake,
Sad winter now declines,
Each bird doth choose a mate,
This day's St. Valentine's.

-Charles, Duke of Orleans, French poet (1394-1465)



love could be so sweet
but love can be as sour
as a tamarind sometimes

love could be as red
as the sky when the sun
rises and cast its rays

but love could be as dark
as a moonless night
without the stars

without the sun
that brings us light
the days can be a dud

love is like that
dead and silent
as the night

but love can be alive
as a singing lark
when you're around

touching my hands
keeping me warm
in your heart...

love, the beatle's way :)...how sweet that sir paul mccartney sang this for his new wife :)  a very romantic beatle indeed :> yes, the many faces of love. this is his third :)

"i will always love you" originally written and sang by dolly parton but whitney houston owned it as many have said because she made it a very popular song all over the world when she used it as the soundtract of her movie, "the bodyguard" with kevin costner... ah love you make us crazy and insane sometimes, laughs. in contrast of the two versions, dolly's is low key while whitney's take is a blast :) but somehow i like dolly's take better...(^&*)... simple, clear... and heartbreaking...

life's precious lessons...

i will always love you, whitney houston..."goodbye and please don't cry". may you rest in peace whitney. you've left us with incredible music. just sad that at 48 you'll have to go. drugs, music and love. they are a lethal mix. she'd been given a gift by God of a voice that made people remember her and made her financially well off but she lost it all for drugs destroyed it just like that. after being introduced by this devil through her husband as the story have it her career went tumbling down. she could never reached those high notes again which she did before her drug use. let this be a lesson that life is very short and fleeting already, let's treasure it, cherish it. and by all means let's live our lives worthy of our God... no drugs, no alcohol drinks, no bad decisions like associating with people of this devil habit for it will certainly drag you down like what this bad concoction had done to whitney. what a waste of a talent, a waste of a life that went out of the road. we loved her no matter what. but let it be a hard lesson learned here. i'd like it to be the example that substance abuse, either in drug use, alcoholic drinks, or smoking nicotine is just not acceptable because of its sad and bad consequences in people's lives... you know who you are so i hope you'll make that effort to change your ways for your love ones but most importantly for your own very self. yes, your life is yours to waste but would you like to be remembered like whitney. i'm pretty sure that if she was given one more chance to live cleanly, she'll choose this route... so for you it is not too late yet and you can do it :) let's show them that. there is no greater satisfaction in life than the feeling of having overcome obstacles... we have all our own demons to conquer and we know that. the real challenge is not to let satan win at the end...(^&*)... and let's remember always to live our lives worthy of our God... life is short, let's make it matter, let's make it smile :) ...so let's love our God first, our selves second then loving humanity in general. let's give love everyday even if it hurts :>  it's fun and it will make you smile, i hope, laughs... no kidding it did to me. for loving people that hates you is the hardest thing to do in life but it can be done. just close your eyes and picture Jesus on the cross saying for you why not... never mock anyone, never flush them in the toilet out of your life, never try to imitate others out of contempt for them, never drink beer, laughs, for you gonna be into that hole for life not a hole called manila but you being drawn in that hole of bad habits and disappointments. money can't buy us love for love just happens and it is free :)...happy valentines day you all, hope it will be a great one...(^_~)... though sad that other love birds may not have that kind of great celebration for break ups in relationships occur as often as days turn into nights. i dunno, but it shows that love comes and goes. love is fickle as it is blind like the whitney's love story and it is a very rare occasion that love survives the test of time though it happens. if you have that kind of love and luck in your life you are very blessed, indeed. so pls.do not forget to thank God for it :)

love and music is a pretty good mix :)

a not so trivial thing...Beyonce and her hubby Jay Z's new bundle of joy named Blue Ivy Carter had an eye popping gift from her parents. hmn, did you know that there is this gorgeous "Le Bleu, Anguilla beach resort in the Caribbean with one mind boggling tropical beauty, maybe this rich power couple had been there before because that place caters only to the higher 1% laughs, and named their child bleu er blue, oh well. who for God's sake will name their kid blue especially it is a girl pa... translation, a sad plant that must be a boy? carter is a boy's name diba? i'm very sorry beyonce but this is just one nobody's opinion. glad that she would never read this :) tho' i love how she sings, it is pretty good :> so whatever comment expressed in this private blog in short it does not matter, laughs. it is really the gossip in my work that they bought their new bundle of joy a whopping and jaw dropping baby cradle worth 750,000 grand. wow talk about extravagance... and my co workers are not happy...

let me see, i am working on my math here. we could feed gazillions of homeless people with that moolah. we can send many poor but intelligent students to college. yup we can also help those who really do not have the capacity to endure the challenges of higher learning aka less endowed students with brain cells, there are also vocational schools for them to attend and we can fund that as well. plus we can build countless houses in pinas for the needy and the list goes on and on... but since beyonce sang that one sweet song titled "At Last" for the Obama's then, maybe we can give her a pass. it's their money after all... but now guys and gals will you consider buying your future blue ivy carter maybe a diamond laden cradle which she or he could not even appreciate yet... think about that PLZ... even if you are a couple with a net worth of 750 million in USD... let's chase away the blues with that kind of money for a lot of down throddens instead... yes, the road not usually taken...

love

love is when i wake up
and you're there by my side
love is when i'm down
and you try to pick me up

when most of the rivers
have all dried out
and when the stars
never twinkle at night

you sent me a message of care
and you're always prompt
you turn my dark days into
a light of the golden rising sun

you never miss to say hi
and to say what's up
there is the love that
will end till the end of time

for absence is not love
silence is death
and goodbye

for love is presence
love is a smile in person
love is you and i...

see, i can certainly whip up something for valentines day...(^&*)... even how bad it is... but happy love day to all of you soon :) hope you'll feel it. hope you'll experience it and hope you'll treasure it forever...