how do you measure love...

the Crucifixion by Mantegna...pls. click for a bigger image... the stations of the cross...

sa dulo nang buhay ay kamatayan... or death is never an illusion, it's real...

nasaan na ang awit na matagal ko nang di narinig
saan nagpunta ang liwanag, hindi ko man lang ito nahagilap
inilagay mo ba sa isang karton at binalot mo ang kahapon
hindi dumating nawala sa ipu-ipu at sa
malakas na hangin nalunod, hindi umabot at naitapon

gabi-gabi binilang ko ang mga bituin sa langit at sa madaling araw
pero madilim at ang makapal na ulap lamang ang nakatingin sa aking harap
dahil ngayon ay walang diyos, nakapako at namatay sa krus
kaya ang himpapawid ay puno nang siphayo
at maraming luha sa mga mata ang bumubuhos

gaano kamahal natin ang ating sariling buhay
gaano kamahal natin ang mahal na regalo sa itaas
sa timbangan nang kalawakan ito ay nakasulat
sa bawat pitik nang puso at paglakad nang araw
sa bawat gawain natin, sa bawat awitin doon mo mahahanap

walang milagro kamo dito sa mundo na malawak
walang panginoon na may ari nang buwan, bituin at araw
pero mali ka dahil ikaw, ako at tayong lahat
ay isang malaking milagro kong saan tayo nagbuhat

dahil sa isang di pangkaraniwang isip at lakas
dahil sa hindi matumbasang pagmamahal sa itaas
tayo ay naririto, nakakaranas nang saya, pagluha at pagdanas
habang may umaga, tanghali, hapon at gabi pang lumilipas

habang may buhay
habang ang kamatayan ay
hindi pa dumarating sa ating landas...

sandra bullock, the american sweetheart. she recently was awarded the best actress at this year's oscar...her love just died i bet...a few days after winning she learned that she was living a lie. her husband just like the tiger has mistresses. not one, not two but more :) it must be that awful to open your eyes and go back in your thoughts and realized that you were played upon. how do you measure love in this case? sandra, there is nothing to measure for there was never love, it was never there. so it's time to stop living a lie, sad to say. life is but once. live it in truth and for real, not in illusions. hmn, that word seems so familiar and over used in here, laughs. but this lady never lost anything here in the first place for love never existed, my take...pick up the pieces, you made a mistake as well sandra for it takes two to tango...there should be a much more deserving man out there for you. just keep on lookin' :>

sandra's man or love is just an illusion. he's there physically but in truth he is dead. again, death is never an illusion for it is very real. you, we or all of us will get there someday, either sooner or later...and if children or even adults who think that they'll live forever, if they were taught of life's time limitation or extinction, this will surely put a halt into their dreamlike states. i read awhile back that juveniles who were put in prison for committing murders or violent crimes were required to visit a hospital mortuary and this experience had affected them tremendously and mind you in a positive way. these kids or people are faced in reality with the end of life which maybe they were trying to push into the back burner of their minds for ages. it did ran a horrid and terrible jolt into their psyches and dramatically changed their perception of life. that it has an end, it is never there forever...for death is real, it's never an illusion...and whoever thinks otherwise has their mind turned upside down :> you know those people that won't go with the flow, those that are constantly struggling to row the boat in the opposite way of the current in a stream and really will be in a sad position to drown and be dead. it happened and we need to learn our lessons well. for after all we want life won't we? ...(^_~)...bring life not death i say :> i know God in His merciful ways is listening :) again, pls. pardon my poor english, one writer said that he couldn't tolerate any poor english the most, like an unforgivable thing, but his muse is worst, laughs, not in english structure but in content. so my apologies sir! but what can you expect from an old maid being driven in a taxi from door to door for her work? i'm pretty sure her smile is now gone and killed, laughs. oh well. bring it more? but warning, this is just the prelude and let's not go that way. it'll just be a waste of our time :) i'd rather live in peace and not being used and abused for that matter for any salary for that sucks, laughs. i know my mind is wild but i read minds, so i know, laughs. oh well. stop the abuse for i am not doing that to you, never did and never will...what a sad state really, but i am ready for a new beginning :) esp. now that easter is here :) forgive and forget and goodbye? let's do it :)

a russian genius

Vladimir Pervunensky...these art were done 2004, 2005, 2006...i love his works. although i would prefer that he paints the present not the past :) hmn, maybe he's paying homage to the by gone Russian era. but just the same he is almost like John Singer Sargent...hands of extra-ordinary capabilities and skills, paint wise :) click images for a bigger view...

like the human mind, it's hard to tell...

sunset? or sunrise? over a waterfall. we could never tell if we are not the one who took this pic. because really in truth it's hard to tell, even research says so. and red orangy colors can appear in both. but for me i would guess that this was taken at sunrise, maybe because of the foggy waterfall for i always notice foggy mornings and never a foggy sunset err evening. so there. with that i would bet that this is a sunrise photo...thanks to you who owns this image, super nice and inspiring :) and yes to all owners of my borrowed images here, i salute your camera skills, truly superb! i love them...thank you, thank you and thank you!

okay, now i know that there exists a foggy sunset somewhere and in this pic below, it's in lisbon, portugal. hmn, it is darker at sunset here but the above pic is clearer so it is a sunrise image. i'm still sold on that premise although now i am thinking it's really a close call here and i might be wrong too you know, laughs. oh well. but the panaroma is purely magical whatever time it was taken...

foggy sunset in lisbon...darn, why can't people specify the time when they take their pics so as not to confuse others :> part of the mystique, i guess...or just a plain and simple play...similar to george bush's phrase of "bring 'em on" referring to his enemies in iraq then who are killing countless military men. 'we have more than enough men to defeat you', he said, but he did regret uttering this afterwards...and barack obama's "bring it on" phrase in response to the lawsuits filed lately blocking his newly passed health care reform law of going into fruition. pres. obama said that the republicans mentioned that armageddon will surely come if this law will pass and it did but where is armageddon? he asked. yes, it was that scenario for the health care industry if they lose and they did, so that's what they meant mr. president but i know you knew that, it was just a word play from you, laughs. and yes, bring it on as well too even in partnership, this goes to a certain muse who was referring to an illusionada because now it's her and her lovey dovey, they together will conquer? what? hmn, that got me thinking, laughs. oh well. life is full of mind buggling quirks, laughs. but certainly two is better than one right? and the battle had just begun although i don't think it's worth the fight, laughs. really now...why can't we just fight our own battles that we even need some help, laughs. maybe for the win? laughs. but you've declared yourself the winner a long time ago already, so the fight was won already, laughs. gosh! maybe another battle in another place at another time or else what could it be then? yup, bring it on, that is a nice phrase, you and your lovey dovey using both your columns, or illustrate this and that, laughs. i was already dissed a long time ago. one by my poor english which you know expert writers couldn't tolerate. two, riding in a taxi being dropped apartment to apartment. three, the smile has been killed and served as an offering, laughs. oh well. life could be or should be more than this, just sayin', laughs. but again the fight is already over, right? :> i need a blogging vacation and this time for real, laughs. the web is very entertaining to me so it is really hard to leave. but it will be done sooner or later which ever comes first :) so will it start now? even myself doesn't know for my thoughts tomorrow is still up in the air and who knows i might want to say my piece by that time again, as always :) it is holy week though so i needed to pause, to reflect and to think about life and its end which is death, sad. but we can't escape it so we might as well add it in our thoughts...a solemn holy week to all...

from death to resurrection :)

" behold the lamb" the music on air...these are smiley fruits, let's watch our language :) for we are judged by the words we let out :> it is never a valid excuse that we are trampled upon or was left out. it is never right to curse or let out unsavory words because we failed. it is just affirming that we might be deserving of what we've gotten when we act in outburst or in retaliation. instead be humble, go with the flow and be in unison with the universe. it'll make you happier more and it'll give you peace more :) change before your life is over. we'll never know if our end will be tomorrow, young or old. we leave in haste sometimes in this world, nobody knows the time or circumstances of our departures except God...life is fleeting let's live it in peace, kindness, love and humility...in spite of every negative things and sadness...in spite of the downs and despair...Jesus suffered so shall we...and i would like to think that Jesus would say to us "speak to me in truth not of hate" :)

the best of the best

Nora Aunor, my all time favorite filipino actress and singer...controversy hounds this only superstar of the philippine cinema. accusations of being involved in drugs, a failed marriage or movie set tantrums and being accused of being late or unprofessional in her career, singing or acting. but let's not forget that this lady was the best in her time. she rose into a phenominal success or she reached that uncharted popularity amidst her poor background because of her God given talent that captured countless hearts of the philippine populace. against all odds of being poor, short and brown she prevailed to be in the limelight for quite a period of time. let's not take that away from her. she was a star that shone brightly then and hopefully even not as bright now as some of her detractors always claim or remind us of, she had made some tremendous contributions into the so called arts...music and film, winning an international award as of late...she has true talent and i'm glad that she's being internationally recognized now :) more power Nora, I love you :>

happy speeches & bill signing ceremony

today is bill signing day for the historic health care reform bill that passed sunday without a single republican vote. these guys were saying that it will add trillions to the deficit. but tell that to those who can't have decent health care because of existing illnesses that end up being turned down for health coverage. tell that to those unemployed whose jobs were outsourced and end up losing their health care coverage from their employer. tell that to those whose coverage was being dropped bec. they are now sick and now they become liabilities to these insurance companies. mr. republicans do you think they care about the deficit? if you are sick and without coverage do you think you care about any deficit? of course not! so there. who cares about you truly esp. if you become destitute, downtrodden and sick? needless to say the democrats. actions speak, not only just air or words...and here is a classic example of it...thanks to our president for fighting and doing the right thing...reward will come in the form of respect and votes :) not to mention that mark in the history books. the ONE who was able to do what other presidents before him had failed to do because of high opposition from the republican side. but now they've lost and they're very bitter. i just don't know how these people stand up out there. it is very clear that they don't give a damn to the poor, to the uninsured because they are on the insurance companies' side who btw did not put them there in their office, did not give them their jobs...did not vote for them. i just don't know how can these people has voted against these health affirming form of legislation. the only conclusion? they care about themselves only and do not care for others. who knows there could be some financial incentives for them to do so sadly. but even without any votes from them, victory is here and that makes me smile for the american public now will have peace of mind of being covered when they get sick not that double whammy thing na may sakit kana nga problema mo pa ang health insurance mo. but now that won't be the case na. hooray!

election is on the way in the phil. may 10th? i wonder who will win. mr. gibo? maybe, hmn. the vibes seem to be moving his way. i dunno but that's what i am feeling. i maybe wrong too you know, just sayin' what i think and feel...(^_~)...i speak up even no one cares, laughs. mind exercise esp. if you're at my age, use it or lose it, my motto now adays, laughs. oh well. life is short, live it and love it :>

lovely blooms :)

another smiley day for me. time is not enough gazing at these beauties and i won't stop, laughs. the "touch me not" or makahiya is a variety of the mimosa i think. the different gumamelas, one in tube like tobacco form which i saw a bush this past phil. vacation but just in passing and the pink carnation below. this flower i read somewhere meant "i won't forget you" oh really :> time to leave then since i won't be forgotten, laughs. but seriously, i never knew that although nice. plants, flowers and the beach are naturals. i am a lover of nature...since day one and forever :)

victory gardens make me smile and happy :)

thanks www for these inspiring images...

IMMINENT VICTORY!!!

"in defeat, defiance; in victory, magnanimity" by Winston Churchill...so true. at first we are defiant if we fail, before acceptance...and in victory we show our humble and kindred spirits :) in just a matter of hours, the health care bill fix or reform will be voted to victory by the democrats. being a health care professional myself here in the U.S. i am extremely ecstatic. victory for the uninsured, victory for the long been left out of the bag, victory for the working middle class...God is good. God always makes it right...have faith and it never fails...

Beautiful things

beautiful things ...GE and Johnson and Johnson's commercial ads are pro-health :) nice topic, nice music...

moments in time

meandering on that dark blue skies are books of life
torn pages full of cuts and filled with marks of different hands
in between are times, hours in a glass that passed
in steps, in levels as the sun will now continue its path

we meet in these boxes of years
some just arrived while others just left
we've shaken hands and hugged
we've exchanged language and laughed

the eagle's wings are now beginning to flap
time to soar for it's now time to depart
as the ravages of memories filled with life, mud and tears
as the last song's sorrowful march, its lyrics end

life is thrown but once, the ball has been pitched
but sadly most of the time, the target was missed
the river never met the sea for the current was adrift
the raft was never true, so it was broken in two...

it's time to do the right thing

pass the very elusive health care reform bill now. this will regulate the for profit health care system in this country. these companies who will drop your coverage if you get sick, who hikes their insurance premiums to the roof for small businesses or individuals and then even though if you are paying your premiums for ages and by unlucky turn of events you'll get so sick they will drop your coverage like a hot potato because they will now lose money on you. after so many tries by "democratic" presidents in the past like Bill Clinton but failed, the time is ripe to do the right thing for the working American people whose jobs were outsourced by big corporations overseas. the democrats the party of the working people here who lost their health coverage, who can't pay their mortgages so they went to foreclosures because their jobs were lost. it's about time. for 50 years this change was so hard to come by. of course the republicans who belong to the party of the big rich corporations here are fighting it tooth and nail for it not to pass. but the stars are lining up. we have a democratic president, a majority in both houses of congress so now after a long, long time it can be done. it is time, it is long over due to do the right thing. Barack Obama's presidency will be defined by the passing of this health care bill. it will rewrite history that finally after so many tries of past democratic presidents not republicans ha, the light is on at the end of the tunnel. again, it is time to do the right thing. 32 million more Americans will now have health insurance coverage if this bill passes. 95% of Americans will be insured. we do have health insurance from my employer so i am not directly affected by this but i care for people who can't have a decent health care because it is so hard to get one if you have pre-existing conditions and if you happen to lose your job where most of us get our health care coverage. now if this bill passes you can buy your health coverage from health insurance exchanges that will be created, very cool :) way to go mr. president. you never forget your roots of coming from the struggling working class of this country. i love it for you truly cared for us. you are one of a kind of a president. never silver spoon fed so you knew first hand how the lives of the poor revolved. you knew how the workers of this land feel in truth for you were one of us then. nobody knows how to be poor not unless you were once in their shoes. you can't really feel their struggles not unless you were on that path also. not unless you were one of them before and you were, so you genuinely cared. it showed by your actions not only by your words and that's very powerful...our utmost respect to you mr. president. not only that you deserve it but you live it. we're lucky this time :)

still is the night

when cross roads came and engulfed us
when cosmic cared and sent us the stars
when silent nights had lit up the sky
when tight sleeps and restful nights abound
when peace and quiet times reigned in our lives

still is the scene
somber is the theme
and reflection is
the name of the game...

Lenten season is a reminder of the end. when we turn around and live in truth that our lives are but a passing meteor that go down at dawn. that lit up that sky for a few moments in time...that's about it...some manage to make it longer while some do not...some others tend to make their lives colorful, while others paint it with black...which kind are you, just asking...(^_~)...

the easter lily :)

the flower of resurrection :)

President Obama loves us :) yes true, we are not...

in our jobs to enrich ourselves. we are in our profession to help heal the sick, to alleviate suffering of the body and to give our smiles and our tender loving care to those in need of our service in our hospitals. i truly love my job :> and i love our president, he never forgets us. he never forget our contributions to this country. i'm glad that he cares for us. just yesterday he even mentioned us again :) i'm thrilled and really fulfilled in my profession. it made me live in the best country in the universe :) it made me a better person. thanks to God and to my beautiful spanish lady benefactor :) without them even a genius, not me to make that clear, even a very studious student, that's me :) all these for me won't be happening, the truth. so my endless thanks to the positive forces that had surrounded my life. never ever will forget them. never ever will stop to give my heartfelt thanks. for words is not enough, action is the key and i knew that...hooray mr. president! your action alone for pushing health reform for this country is very, very commendable. your legacy will depend on the passing of this very elusive health care fix. the pundits are out there again talking against it, but it will happen. the good will always prevail, the good will always win. for that's God over Satan. no contest, really, no chance for the devil to win, mark my word :) and i love spanish songs for one spanish person had turned my life around. she cared for the needy and i was lucky to be in her path that blessful day :)

when silence ruled...

when the sky seeks to break the night into day, the moon stood still. when dawn dipped to depart, dusk went slowly away. when the morning dew fell the ants felt too weary. the water was wasted. it dripped without a dent as the earth opened up and sipped it all away. all these in silence as time ticked tirelessly. all these as my eyes went to sleep for just a day.

you think what more are there to be left unnoticed as the waves went to shore. what more are there to be left wasted without a heart to see it soar. what dreams are there to be left to drown when there are no flying balloons. what lives are there to be wasted as the years turn to boil. as the fire slowly simmer there's nothing left to roast. as the sky tries to break this gridlock, the sun rose.

doing this in silence as its rays warmed the cold. as the burning mind doused by the rain, so silence could reign once more. this is to be repeated as the minutes move along. as the moon waves goodbye so a new day could be born. a new beginning, a new hope for a new dawn once more.

where dusk will just be a flickering memory in our minds but surely this is not for long. for the night is just an inch away ready with its claws. to grasp us, to hug us, to hypnotize us until it can't anymore. because the leaves have fallen off, the flowers have wilted, the grass was burnt and the mountains had moved. so silence can reign for eternity where sound is useless, music is no longer needed because life had ended and love was lost...