a new beginning...

 

another page in a book

another song in a jukebox

another plane ride

another interest, another way

another break

another path

 another hope

in a million of stars

that you can't count

that you can't assemble into a garland

that you could ever wear...

image of a sunrise from the www and ms. dima's art called "easter celebration" thank you...

God will always provide...

 

if you believe and i do. my life is a testament to that... when all the games had ended and there's nothing more to play. when the day is done and the sun had cast its last ray for the day. here you are, always there on the cross reminding me to carry on. how faith directs your way to the light when your mind is clouded with doubts, hopelessness and gray. here you are... i will be numb if i don't understand that you gave your life for me. the least that i can do is to go on, be reminded that you are always with me, all along. all day, all night for all eternity. lucky me :) thank you... above art is the crucifixion by mantegna...

the meaning of death

is it the end or a new beginning
is it a stop or just a layover
death is when you close your eyes
for the last time and
you'll never wake up again

death is when your love ones
comes to your funeral in black
helpless, inconsolable, in tears
for they love you so much
and here you are cold and lifeless

when your journey is done
God will call you, old or young
life is just borrowed and when it's time
you don't have a choice other than to oblige
hang your hat on, bid your farewell if you can

say your thanks for the life that you've lived
very reluctantly for most but it must be done
for life is short, borrowed and never eternal
say your thanks for this beautiful earth
that you've been a part of, but most importantly...

give your thanks to God
for the joys and the tears
for the ups and the downs
for the ride, rough or smooth
for the days, sunny or gray

for life is the greatest gift that one can ever behold
in life you've experienced love and to be loved
in life you've learned to smile and to cry
and that sums it up folks
life is never everlasting

you'll give it back in the end like Jesus did
like you and me, all of us, when our time rings...

love defined...

 

Hatred paralyzes life; love releases it. Hatred confuses life; love harmonizes it. Hatred darkens life; love illumines it... Martin Luther King, Jr.

 

 

love is like a rose with thorns, it will spike your heart until it is forlorn. love is like a peppercorn, it is black and bitter when you ingest it without moderation. love is that concocted potion that's totally mesmerizing when worn. but when you wear it long, it neutralizes until it turns into a dreadful poison. love without respect and trust is like a friend who bites you in the back. love can only be a miracle when it comes from God and the heart. it makes us soar into the highest abyss of infinite bliss. it makes us think that life won't ever end. it makes our days turn into a glittering paradise where there is no pain, no suffering and no tears. because love is joy and happiness. love is all smiles and pinks. love is like a rainbow that is filled with magical display of colors. love is giving, hard sacrifice and understanding. but in the end... true love never change, never makes you cry, never ever plays, never hides and never cheats. plus it's always there for you and will show you to the world... that is the ultimate proof of true love, ladies. otherwise it is suspect in spite or whatever reason your love could come up with for not making it official :) so you better leave and find someone else, laughs. oh well... so this is my valentine entry...(^_~)... hope it's a good one, but really, nobody reads it anyway, so there you go :>

love that is hidden is false, love that is a pretension is a farce. love that can't come out is a lie, love that is all these is not magic. love that is like this is definitely a play... so make it a challenge to your love, prove it and let's come out in the open if your love is true and he's really worthy of your love :) another take of love on this coming month of hearts... there are so many kinds of love and it is so easy to give it if you think about it. be kind, put on your precious smile. pray and have respect for your fellow man. life is short, let's discard hate and embrace love :) i know it is easy to say but it's very hard to do...now maybe i can go for a really true blogging hiatus...blogging is like a smoking habit  i came to conclude. it is a habit that is hard to curtail, a real challenge. so if you win it, it is definitely a very joyous occasion...

God can open doors that no man can shut, and He can also close doors that no man can open! ...a quote to live by...

a colorful life...

as i turn back the years and reminisce, my life is filled with colors, less gray and black but more of the pinks, greens and reds... i was born in paco, manila at clinica lopez my mader said. did you know that amorsolo came from paco. this beloved filipino painter is a contradiction. his name meant one love but i think he had two wives, so there you go...

when i was young my favorite play is cooking time. with playmates, we used to murder the young gumamela leaves with a blade and cut them into slices for a gumamela leaves stew. i had no inkling that i am hurting the poor plant. now that i am a gardener in a lesser scale i really am not happy with that playtime. we lived in manila till i was six. when i was ready for elementary grades we went back to the province where rice fields are considered as wide gardens in my view. so for the next ten years in elementary and high school i am a farm girl who really did not do farm work but i am surrounded with chickens, goats, water buffalo, rice fields, trees and beautiful nature where our water supply comes from an inner spring well. very, very cool. we could have had a big farm and huge rice fields on my dad's side of the family but his dad my grandfather was sold with a fake illusion in the mindanao dream that is called the land of promise then. he sold the huge family land in exchange for a piece of the land of promise in mindanao. but lo and behold he was swindled and it is not true. they just took his money and gave him fake land title in mindanao. when he got there, there was no dream land. now all his children were left to fend for themselves...

well, i had a little brain if you must know, laughs. this might had helped me somehow in what will become my future life... i graduated valedictorian in the elementary grades and i had the highest grade point average in high school in that last grading period posted in that honor roll board out of more than 200 students divided in 4 sections. so after ten years in the province now i am 16 ready for college but with no money. here comes my mom's sister who cooks for a very rich spanish multi millionaire family in san lorenzo village in makati. i was told that if i can help her mop the floor, wash the dishes, prepare stuffs for cooking, clean our senorita's room and serve when their children ate lunch and dinner. so for a free place to stay while i take computer classes at manila data in cubao to be a computer programmer but that did not bode well. i am not a computer nerd. where are you steve jobs, then? so i stopped school and our senorita asked what happened. i told her that computer is not my thing. she asked me what would i like to take and i told her that i want to be a teacher which she did not like. she said that teachers, they don't make money which is a pity and then she suggested how about taking nursing at UST. and the rest is history. i am very blessed and very, very lucky...

so the poor, the middle class, and the very rich, i've seen them all... that made my life very colorful i think and gave me life's perspective. and now i live in the greatest country in the world... to be in what i am now i have to wake up early in the morning around 3 am to do school work. i have to do household help duties. so i sacrificed a lot... now it is time for me to live the life of my dreams... on the beach, on the farm with family, relatives and friends... in manila for a few weeks and in the states for the rest of the year. so i should be happy then you would think. but every now and then i am not for people look down on michael, my special, autistic boy and that makes me very, very sad and upset, but... when i think that michael is named after a saint that protects the kingdom of God from the devil, i smile :) we really do not know why our lives have its own twists and turns. sometimes you like the ride, other times you don't. but that is life with its spices of bitter and sweet... so we have to adjust to be able to survive...

God can open doors that no man can shut, and He can also close doors that no man can open! ... indeed :) ... if God wills it, it will happen for you as it did to me... thank you God :)

the holy family and friends...

 

taken by a cell phone camera 12-28- 2011 before new year then and a canon camera before the feast of the 3 kings, 1-04- 2013. same images, same place... i remember there was even a water feature or a pond surrounding it in prior years. you can hear the water drips then, very soothing...

tidbits, big pieces and puzzles...

"looks fade and dumb is forever" a recent quote that i've heard....so what is there to hang on to? love my friend, for if there is love that can't be bought btw you have it made...

the late steve jobs the former apple CEO was a very fascinating human being. what i like about him was that money did not changed him a bit, in the way he lived his life after all that billions. this was revealed in his authorized biography. so this book must be an interesting book to read. an adopted son with syrian decent who loves to tinker electronically, that is... and a college drop out but his genius mind changed our world no question. in how we hear music, in how we communicate to each other personally or in business. and that is huge...

overcoming the odds, where our president's life falls perfectly in place. what is there to do if everything is served to you on a silver platter. i think life is a real challenge to the rich than to the poor. why? for most people look up to the rich in respect for their high places in society and if you work in their company or business that adoration is freely given to you not truly earned. so it is superficial and we all know that...

the search for true happiness. it is hard if you are looking for it but it is easy when it is not your goal. just mix the perfect ingredient of being true, be always honest and be yourself. be accepting and be fun with limits. then voila! you've entered the happy zone :> plus happiness is what moves you. the beach to some, as love is to others. fame and beauty to you as sincerity and honesty to me even if you're a loser and a nobody, i'll take you :) see it is individualistic and it differs to each and everyone. like some may want their rice fried, while others boiled. i wonder what is better tasting, fried or boiled ;) yeah, yeah, yeah...it depends on what you eat it with. as there are partners that tick while there are others that don't so that's why we have divorces, separations and break ups, triple sad. but to sum it up, if you want happiness better be prepared to give it. that is the trick and the secret. my point of view btw and as we all know there are billions of us living on this planet earth, so that is just one take and i hope not to be considered of the dumb, laughs. oh well...

and my new year's resolution is to de-clutter this small house and do a general clean up project plus some backyard uprooting of plants... hmn, not an easy thing to do for i work full time. it meant that i will have to give up some rest time... that is very hard... but if there's a will there's a way... maybe a blogging hiatus will help as well, let's see...

in the meantime "talk is cheap but action speaks"...

gifts, visits and a new beginning

 

 

new year is new beginning

new path to a new life

new mornings are where new dreams

are made and planned

 

this visit is special

this visit is divine

this visit is one of a kind

for it is for a special holy child

 

a happy new year to all of us

let's give a gift to God

one gift that's from the heart

that has meaning that will last

 

joy to the world? how can we

after a gunman killed innocent children just days before christmas

it is hard to smile these days

joy to the world, we just can't

 

not unless we smile for just one second

when the shutter speed off once

the truth is it is easy to fake a smile

and no one will ever know that you heart is broken and torn apart

 

let them guess what's the truth

but only you knows what's up

so now we know that a smile is a curtain

which hides and stops what's inside

 

that's the ultimate illusion

a smile which is not

for better a fake smile than a pout

for who knows that a laugh might just comes out

 

but the true joy of christmas is Jesus

who holds the secrets of this life

we know that we live, we laugh, we die

and in between we grow up

 

we know that we care, we hate, we love

but beyond that we are at a blank

why are we here, where did we come from

still a lot of unanswered questions in our minds

 

in visits and in epiphanies

we come to open our eyes to who loves us

today, maybe tomorrow, for always?

truth is, love won't stay to some as love leaves us

 

but isn't it true that you'll soon realize their true value

when they're gone and had left you

now you will spend the rest of your days

in regrets, in amends and with hopes they're still in tune with you :)

 

our universe turns as days flip into nights

love is not true for it played into your heart

a playbook that will surely leads into defeat

as guitars will strum dark music instead of tunes that are lively and bright

 

and now who wants that...

 

gentle woman, quiet light...

a victim no more...

a whiff of wind had once gathered in my front lawn
perfumy sweet scent of the hyacinth in spring
and the fading roses at fall
i was taken, hypnotized and caught in a cage
where it seemed an eternity the night is too long
and all the stars are drawn

the nights had turned into dizzying days
as i was in a desert where water had left
the sand dunes are so hot my feet can't breath
prisoner of the wild tamed by the skies
when the rain had dripped the sky had opened up
releasing my chains from the dark and balmy nights

free at last to move on with the rain
somewhere along a river must be raging in
where i could paddle in life with my makeshift raft
navigating the mountains and the oceans so vast
my hands were able to row past and over the tide
as i reached the shore the beach is now in sight

welcoming me are the trees that can mesmerize
where the breeze is so sweet and the air is so calm
a new year indeed and a new hope in time
comes with it is a new shining path
freedom is great when your bondage is gone
relief is now what you see in your heart
dragging you into that forever shining light
for God is good and always, He's at our side :)

ART unsurpassed... wonderful paintings done by an all around artist named John Singer Sargent who lived a century ago. there will be no one else like him that can or will do the kind of art that he had done. it'll make your day busy for with all these artworks you'll need more than a day to browse and stay at awe at the brilliance of this man...

o holy night...

may the spirit and joy of Christmas be with us all...

and the night smiled...

it wasn't that it is balmy and bright
nor because of carols that we delight
it wasn't for relatives and friends that hover all
who drinks and dances with eager soles and shoes

and certainly not for the decorative fruitcake
and flickering xmas fir tree in the yard
it is because it's the birthday of Jesus, our saviour
and lord, the prince of peace and the son of God

our dear redeemer who suffered, died and
was crucified in that holy cross that is so divine
now is the time to reminisce and to give thanks
now is the time to express our unending love

for without our faith that guides us through thick and thin
without the holy trinity the bedrock of our faith
we are all then travelers without a map devoid of light
who will be lost and won't stand tall at the winds of turmoil...

per records kept the oldest woman on earth or the second? had just recently passed away at a whopping 116 years old. i wanna know her secret :> she should have kept a journal in the Internet where a lot of us has access so we know precisely what to do. and that will still be a lifetime for me if i can perfect her set records ...(^&*)... and now according to her 77 year old son, his mom was a teacher who minds her own business and gardens :) the reason of her longevity. maybe, but good genes and what you eat are also major factors. irene, my 70 year old RN co-worker has a mom who is turning 100 next year. she still lives alone and do volunteer work in the hospital. hmn, maybe she could beat the Guinness book of records. my mom is now 84 and still lucid and kicking :) she is very active and a vegetarian. my dad smoked and drunk which most males do in pinas, he died at 60. my rich spanish virgin mary look alike benefactor's husband died at 60 as well. everyday before dinner he drank frozen san miguel beers served in embroidered covered glass.

long years, long life, long journey

the stick must be so long
that it can reach the moon
the garden was always alive
making the roses swoon

every spring, summer and fall
through winter the leaves stuck
the green canopy of forever
made the birds sing and dance...

a new dawn is moving forward

after the rain had fallen
the clouds are light and empty
ready to embark and to roll
without the weight in its wings
without the tears in its eyes

the truth is facing north
climbing the high mountains
its road marked with a map
etched with a red dot
or a point to an end

the point of no return
of high hopes, of new light
of high spirits without darkness
it took forever, so tiresome
but the truth is here at last

an open door of new beginning
after a long dance with the dark
with nothingness, with the void
now there is substance
now there is chance

when the dawn with its
multi radiant brilliance
finally will spread its wings
ready to fly into the top
of victory, mount glory
 
when struggles to
uncover the truth fail us
and now it is here
it has arrived, it finally came
and that is quite a surprise...

a surprise that we embraced with open arms... above art is by amorsolo, fishermen getting ready to go out to sea at dawn...

autumn leaves...

departures and goodbyes...is truly a spectacular show performed by the falling leaves of autumn...

every year it happens
goodbyes and departures
gate shut and bolted
never to be opened again
as tears are left behind
where we stayed for love
but where we leave for
the same grand reason

as symphonies of requiem passes
of dead ends and do nots
are played in solitary notes
by a lone guitar gone
left silenced
packed and taped
muted with strings
unstrung...

the lies within our midst

the color of the clouds at dawn is deceiving
color orange, purplish, pink with grayish tinge
the sun should come in a minute
but the wait is forever as the sun had left

there is silence that dwarfed the once happy village
the air is filled with smoky mirrors shaded in blue
the illusions seemed to have engulfed the true believers
once the colorful lies came through and bare its claws

but in any given moment of our lifetime
God sends relief like a fresh rain falling a mist
cleansing us drop by drop until the clouds cared
to leave the burden of these lies gone and burnt

life is decorated with truth and lies
you measure them with the tip of your hands
those that are heavy are precious gold
and the paperless and the weightless are false...

meaningful birthdays...

how do you spin a rainbow that won't last
you won't for you can't
how do you cross a bridge of nowhere
you'll never for it wasn't there

another year has left again
so many wrinkles came since then
the memories have faded now
and the colorful rainbow is gone

but wait for if it rains at dawn
a new dainty rainbow might show
as the sun rises in the east
a bow of joy came through

i am collecting the years in my hands
i won't give them to you
for as the days and nights will pass
years add up and smiles subside
  
birthdays are our anniversaries
of thanksgiving to God
for He alone was nice enough
to give us life as we survive its daily grind...

how can we ever put meaning into birthdays. i know. as long as God is by our side, we do not need anything else for He is the answer to our questions and He is the meaning to our existence...

let's take the high road

it was a long and winding road
but it's worth all the effort
it's a curve with dust and mud
with nights without the moon
and here we are standing
tall at God's home

you can bribe and you can hide
but facing the music is a better route
after all when you win
you can dance with the stars
you can sing with the lark
and your conscience is bright...

malate church...

above is malate church today taken by me april, 2012 :) and below is the same church painted by the great amorsolo years ago. very beautiful...

if we are living, we belong to God...

roses are the flowers for the virgin mary. i have quite a few of them in bloom right now :)

if we are living
we should open our doors
to the calling
to the right path
to the bright side of life

for if we die
all we have done
is to add up to the
burdens of life
to the sufferings of mankind

you've painted your road
with the grays, with the blacks
and with the blues
where have the reds and the pinks
where have you hidden them both

where are the smiles and the laughter
i'm tired of looking for them
i'm tired of the gloom and doom
for life is not long
these will only make it more short

i want the stars to dance at night
i want the melodies of the fireflies
and their flickering light
to lead me to the roses of life

where happiness hides
where there are no dreams
but realities and the truth
no illusions, no games
but real play
for time goes

I'd like to believe
that i'm one of those lucky persons
who held the keys
that would open the world
to the garden of joys...

within a few months we will be voting for our choice of our president here. politics is a sport, a game. but the outcome in politics has a serious consequence in our daily lives. barack obama or mitt romney, a 250 million worth multi-millionaire who was born here in my state but now lives somewhere else with a multi million dollar vacation home in california with a second floor garage. one who was in my shoes once and the other who seemed like a good guy but whose life is opposite to mine. the choice should not be that difficult. for who could better understand you than the person who was once in your shoes...

water paradise...

that is what patar beach is...lots of us are truly magnetized by ocean fronts as each of us has a story to tell. each of us has our own roads to travel. it is not how luxurious that experience is but it is how it enriched our lives in the process. we value our once in a lifetime journey for we all have one gift of life to spend on that journey. to others life is handed on a silver platter while to most of us life is doled out in cast iron plates. we all have our own devices, we have our own intelligence to help us wade and deter all the obstacles life has to offer, may you be rich or poor. you will be surprised that the rich and the privileged are not immune to the bumps of life. bumpy rides with drugs, drinks, booze and smokes to name a few and sometimes it can only be the waves of the ocean that can prevent them from continuing this grasp to these addicting habits. maybe for a short period of time, until that boat docks, then that body craves and yearn to have that one more fix, that one more drink, that one more puff... now guys and gals we know you are living life to the fullest but don't you think you could live life more fuller when your mind and body are free from these addictions? just a thought. pardon if i hit your road, but just saying it as it is...(^&*)...

what is fun...

lights, lilies and petals... grasses, lanterns, little girls and lads... one of my favorite art of john singer sargent :)

little humans, little friends
innocent creations of the world
go and enjoy life it make sense
for time passes like a jet

before we knew it the tree is tall
giving shelter for us all
where cardinals sing their happy tunes
as safari goers rest and fall

a cycle of life, a dream dust
living life when the sea is vast
swimming silently as the night passes
where did time go, it went so fast...

let's do what make us thrive, smile and laugh. life is short, let's create memories that will last...

 

lady agnew by john singer sargent... beautiful lady, let's see that non demonic smile :) we are here now in this beautiful paradise. maybe a reincarnated john singer sargent of our century will make that happen for us... for life without a smile is just not what we want :>

reflections...

life is about reflections as we ponder about our daily existence. life is still a mystery even though how hard we stretch our minds and our imaginations. we do not even know for sure about our true origins as we are fed by our faith or by our own religion and by science with their own theories of how we got here. all we know is that time ticks every single day. as it ticks the seasons change, our bodies get older no exceptions. we fade like the flowers that we plant. our life is just a matter of a length of time. as every breath that we take is just a matter of seconds or in so many years if we are blessed. in between there are emotions to think about, like hate and love...the image above is my favorite art of JSS, click here for his complete works  these exceptional images were painted more than a century ago. he is gone but his works will remain forever with us to be viewed and admired worldwide. i am thankful to have come across and viewed his beautiful creations. i do not know much about art but i know that his paintings are pretty special...top art is by JSS :)

reflections...

as i see you in the mirror
now you are so old
as i wash my face in the river
the wrinkles come so close

that clock has ruined my days
as i traveled the roads of life
the paper thin skin
is sagging past and fast

when i was younger
the sun is always bright
but the days grew shorter
and the nights had overcome

as dawn is edging closely
i count the fading stars
as the morning took over
another hair is white

when i look back at that mirror
shall i thank God?, yes i will
for He always smiled at me
so generously and so kind :)

life is a gift and a dose of the real...

the look and feel of life. it is vast and in billions if we count earth's population. the queen of England had just celebrated her diamond jubilee. 60 years at the throne. at first i thought why do we have to care. but seeing the happiness of her subjects she must have done right in spite of her very rare smile. she was known to be stingy of this free uplifting sign that we humans can dole out if we're happy and lucky and even those that are not but are positive in their outlook of life...the queen rarely smile they say but not during her 60th jubilee celebration for she was all smiles. 85 years old and 91 years old is the age of her husband. life lived to the fullest and i bet without regrets. so many of us are deprived and abandoned, unloved and unkempt. so many of us are tired and are wondering why so many were given the short end of the stick. life is not a bed of roses. life is a continuous struggle from dusk to dawn. some are lucky to break out of the mold but some are just not. life is what we make it to some but life is what is doled out to others as life is not a pleasant experience to a lot of us. we wonder why. we wonder if it is planned and we will never know the answer. like the mysteries that surround our lives, the mystery of what will tomorrow may bring. all we know is life is timed, life can be taken away at any moment and here we are acting like life will have no end, sounds very familiar...

here is Jesus painted by Steve Penley...the color used evens out the sadness depicted in this artwork. i love it :) for i am for the positive side of life... Jesus, we believe and trust in you :)

timeless tulip

Easter is change...resurrection, renewal, rebirth or renaissance. they all mean change. my own tulip flower one beautiful spring. sadly it is just an image now. even flowers will have to go as days pass as the dawn departs...one colorful tulip, one of many...

tulips are born every spring
as tides come rushing in
hope springs in the process
as the earth twirls and spins

the moon will soon cast a smile
as the sun's light subsides
the stars will dance and twinkle
above our very own eyes at night

Easter is a happy time
for God had risen for us
there is hope in death and darkness
as a new direction comes to light...

and here is about us...to make me smile when the days seemed dark and covered with clouds. it is a nice feeling if you knew that in the process of you earning a living you are promoting life and health. that will make your effort all worthwhile.

"About NURSES: Somebody asked: "You're a nurse?!? That's cool, I wanted to do that when I was a kid. How much do you make?" The nurse replied: "HOW MUCH DO I MAKE?" ... I can make holding your hand seem like the most important thing in the world when you're scared... I can make your child breathe when they stop...I can help your father survive a heart attack...I can make myself get up at 5AM to make sure your mother has the medicine she needs to live...I work all day to save the lives of strangers....I make my family wait for dinner until I know your family member is taken care of...I make myself skip lunch so that I can make sure that everything I did for your wife today is charted...I make myself work weekends and holidays because people don't just get sick Monday thru Friday. Today, I might save your life. How much do I make? All I know is, I make a difference"...like we all do in little ways that we know how.

thanks all for your visits :)

better be love than hate...

heart shaped primroses from the www plus hosta leaves from my garden one nice summer. yes, love is the best spice of them all, laughs, no kidding...just listen to elvis songs na lang if you are an skeptic...(^&*)...

the many faces of love...

as i look back at that mirror i ask what is really the meaning of love. is it God with His almighty power who rules this vast universe that we don't even know much about. is it this majestic earth where we live that spins till eternity of time, after all it housed all the wonders that humans could only catch and play with in their hands. is it the people that inhabits this land who invents all these toys that make life a joy and easy to withstand. or is it life that has its ups and downs, joy and disappointments, tears and lucks.

love must be that feeling of joy and that spirit of hope that everything will be alright. love must be each day given to us as a gift from God for who knows tomorrow won't be around. love maybe are the fireflies that lighten up the evening sky. or love maybe are the flowers that are so colorful whose captivating scents will make our nose smile. or love is the anticipation of magic that someone nice would bring to us. and maybe love is the free time or vacation time which is spent walking aimlessly on a sandy beach that is so hot.

as love is the many faces of strangers that add spice to our daily lives. love is also a kind word from one whom you've never expected to lift your spirit up. love is so important that once it's lost chaos will abound. love is all we need to make our lives twinkle like the stars above. love is just a simple word but its meaning brings magic into our hearts. so ergo, let's all give love not only on valentines day but in every single day that we can while we are still alive.

for as the sun sits and as the sun rises love will be lost if not taken care of, if it is not treasured, nor given importance. love will turn into hate and we can't allow that to happen if we are that smart. for love is a decoration that we want to adorn our daily lives till the end of time...

...without love or in losing love where would you be now...maybe drifting in the sand dunes, like being lost in the desert and you would only know the importance of love once you've lost it, once it's gone...

our lady of lourdes in tagaytay & baguio cathedral...

one of the most beautiful house of worships that i have ever visited and it is 22 of them on this vacation round :) 2 were closed, manila cathedral for renovation and the paco park church, per its guard but we went to the big paco church instead...yes, there was a wedding in progress in this church :) i highly recommend that you use it if you and your muse, prince or your love will tie the knot in the future :) the pink rest rooms are sooo wide and clean, true, and it is a newly built church i was told... 22 churches that i visited, not a lot when you think of so many of them in manila alone. but of course i had also went in those found in not so beaten paths as well like those located in my home province, couldn't miss those...in the pink church in baguio aka the baguio cathedral, a wedding was also on going. but this time you could feel that the celebrants were rich for the flowers alone my brod said, the couple must have spent 2 grand in USD and a vintage classic car was their bridal car in use...a very happy time i bet for them. glad that i was there to witness it too :)

yes, visiting churches is an obsession for me. JC said, mom this is not a vacation, it is a pilgrimage...in a way he is right :)

and i would have loved to have dined at sonja's garden. we asked people around for direction, security guards and residents alike and everyone was telling us to drive further and further away from the volcano's site. it seemed to be a long drive to forever passing roads lined up with beautiful shrubs bearing colorful blooms that i loved. finally we reached a place that said, sonja's bed and breakfast but there are loads of vehicles parked around it so there must be a function going on... tho' the garden i was hoping to see is nowhere so a disappointment for me and we left the place...never again that i will go on driving forever to a place that is way too far, laughs. but all my travel plans and places to see in pinas were met. thanks to paul for driving us around safely and thanks for my dear brod for lending us his ford everest van and letting us stay in his condo, cool :) i am really a lucky gal...in spite of it all...a silver lining is always at hand, ready to show up and to carry us on in our lives being on a vacation or what not...

also my tulips are in bloom again. so many, pink and purple and i have yet to get some pics of them, laughs. but maybe this year i will leave them alone...

taal volcano :)

this volcano has a mouth. i only hope that it won't spew molten rocks or erupts soon for there are houses all around it. people dare to build homes at its vicinity maybe because of its majestic view...

i am a pet lover :)

our cat hisoka saya is truly living the good life, laughs...vacation makes me break my blogging habit. returning home made me realize more that america is really fun, second is the philippines :) you compare the rest rooms in the 2 airports and the feeling you get in and out of the airports here and there is quite different. really there is so much chaos in pinas plus some foreign tourists are missing if traveling alone once they arrived in manila's airport...go figure that out... here you can feel the order of how a first rate country operates. sad to say that the difference in the two countries is quite staggering. when will the philippines can catch up kaya for i am losing hope...

a very powerful symbol of love...

death has become you...

with the wails and woes of humanity
here you are pinned on the cross
with the burdens of our sins
you carried with grace, joy and resolve

life is but short
even God dies
even God folds

only to be resurrected
and reborn
only to claim victory
and the throne...

first came birth and then death to redeem mankind's sin. a very powerful sign of Jesus' love for us :) ash wednesday is a reminder that from dust we came so to dust we shall all return someday. to some at a very young age, ergo you have your youth today but you really don't have your life time on earth in the palms of your hands for we will all die and we do not know if it is sooner or if you are blessed and lucky it will be later that you'll bid goodbye. so to some lucky ones it could be a century of living... me i am hoping to live to be 100 years young, laughs, pls. God give it to me for my disabled son's sakes...(^&*)...

let this lenten season be a reminder of the fragility of life. let's live it to be as happy as we could ever make it. it is a challenge. but with God's grace nothing is impossible :) after all He is "the truth and the life" meaning He gives us life and the truths in our lives, all you have to do is believe it :)... above art is the Crucifixion by Mantegna, one of the best art that was ever made in my opinion and second best are the art of Mr. John Singer Sargent :) ...pls. click above image for finer details and click the highlighted link for the best ever paintings that were ever produced by a genius :)

hope is an eternal spring...

we always wait for the sun rise
when the night is long and hot
we always dream of a star's trap
every time the black night comes

as an iris rises amidst the cold ice
this flower spreads its petals
then a sweet scent of perfume
is unmasked as the hope of life pumps

so many dark forces dent our paths
so many dukes their spades of lies
but as we know that God is the light
we never worry for Satan dies

as light triumphantly casts
its rays drowning those dark abyss
as we open our eyes for another day
hope will sing and color our way

yes in spite of life's curves
hurled at constant pace
hope is the optimist's weapon
as we travel and as we pray

life tomorrow should be better
as the red cardinal tweets
as its shiny feather dances and sways
at the branches of my evergreen tree :)

without hope
we have no inspiration
without hope
we have no gasoline to fuel our toys

without hope
our horizon is doomed
without hope
what we have is nothing for sure...

so guys and gals let's keep on dreaming, let's keep on hoping and let's keep on loving :) for if hate wins, we've lost, if hate wins we've froze, if hate wins our world is silent and the music is off... so let love wins...(^_~)... seek forgiveness, make up with our love ones, i know it is easier said than done, but no choice, right?...(^&*)... for life is short and it is not for us to play with. we return it when God wants it back... so let's keep on smiling and living in spite of the tears :) for that is just common sense... joy is what we make ourselves and joy is what we needed to spread to others... it's not a coincidence that the music now is "Joy" by Giovanni, cool :) we need to be happy for one more time the sun rises for us to celebrate life...

the difference between a sunrise and a sunset is...the sky is clearer in a sunrise for maybe the clouds are absent still so there are not much orangy color in a sunrise because the clouds are not formed yet and the sun's rays reflection create those orangy spots that we see on a sunset... i maybe right but i maybe wrong but that's what i believe :)

love in circles...

when one is supposed to be in love happiness should be the result which usually is. but as we look around love birds are happy today but wait until tomorrow the sky is blue. so love is not immune to grief, sadness and heavy hearts. people die one reason so your love, muse, or partner departs. then a few managed to fell in love with some younger amores. ex. demi and maybe you :) sadly it doesn't last for eternity, but so is love birds of the same age living in the same generation. i'm pretty sure that there are unions that survived the challenges of love whatever the circumstances they came to unite as there are unions that won't. it is maybe in the maturity, in the intensity and truthfulness of that love that these love birds share. temptations abound. illusions like magic are just like in the movie world that is full of acting. so it is not real. if there is real love i think it should survive the test of time :) and of course it is better to have fallen in love even if the end is a mess than to not have loved at all... i am really non judgemental to whoever anyone had fallen in love with. i am happy if people are happy. and there is no one to blame if love did not succeed for there is not real love that had existed in the first place so it failed... for some love works and some don't... no matter what their age is :> although it is really advisable to love your own kind all the way for lesser problems but in some rare cases love survives even in the hot desert of the sahara, laughs, yes that is a metaphor :) ... so guys and gals take your chance in love for love is better than hate. if there is a reason better than this, i will be truly surprised :) and if you fell in love no one should call you stupid for who knows if they are in your shoes they might probably will do too as well... so mind your own business should be directed to these people, laughs. really love is very complicated. if you found love then nurture it. love is like a plant, it will die when not watered and cultivated... that simple :) and i think love if it's phony it won't never succeed...(^&*)... let time rides its course, if love is true it will reveal itself at the end :)  in the mean time let's not feast on other people's love business, laughs. but seriously there is a bible passage that goes like this: Matthew 7:1 "Do not judge, or you too will be judged...

Autism Speaks...

Autism, a Robber in Broad Daylight

How do you feel when it's dark all day
How do you see if nothing lights your way
How do you do your chores
How do you cook and clean
Tell me, how, in the absence of the sun

Will you see at night when the moon is gone
Will the stars above have that enough shine
Will the owls, the fox, or the dog can dance
Will the cat, the cow or the rat can run
Tell me, if you can see shadows in the dark

Why does a child can't read or write
Why does a boy can't play with a ball
Why does a girl can't play with a doll
Why do some kids can't ride a two wheel bike
Tell me, why, some children can't understand

Do you sing and dance with them
Do you smile and laugh with them
Do you do their jobs for them
Do you, can you, tell them what to do
Tell me how to open up a tight igloo

Autism, with that mind altering bug
Robbing a child's intelligence once
Permanently erasing memory lane
No sun, no mornings, no moon, no dreams...

michael, my special boy do not even know what a door, "window" or TV meant. he has no interest in such things...but there is a consolation, he knows how to swim like a fish better than you and me :)

and did you know that my special son taught me the most important lessons about life than anyone could ever do. first i learned to be humble and thankful with what i have in this life. looking at him everyday i am reminded about the gift of being a normal person, my gift of speech, michael cannot speak except for mama and for that alone i am thankful. now i am more compassionate to families with the same predicament like i have. it is true that you won't know how a person feels not unless you are in their shoes. i learned how to be sensitive to other people's feelings, most of the time, i admit :) i learned to be more prayerful and to rely on my faith for strength to carry on with life of abnormality because i am different, i have a special, retarded, autistic child...but most importantly i learned that mentally challenged people are human beings as well. they need love and care and being a part of their lives is a gift and a chance to serve God in this life...St. Michael is the angel that protects the kingdom of God from the devil...and may i say that in our household, the devil is always on the look out for we have Michael :) though the real lesson here is how life's trials turned me into a better person...although that is just the tip of the iceberg here so to speak. with or without life's tribulations, life has limits, in seconds or in one hundred years this if we are blessed enough. this knowledge alone that we won't be here in this life forever is itself an incentive to act reasonably better or be a much nicer human being. we don't even need to be a genius to figure that out. but as usual what do we do? we make other people's lives miserable and difficult as if there are not enough burdens that these people have to bear or carry in their shoulders already, just my keen observation...nobody is perfect, except God. you might have been blessed financially, born without defect, granted some very exceptional talent that you can't take with you when you die... but these do not give you the right to speak, use your God given talent to oppress your fellow men...my take :) ...just something to keep in mind as we live our borrowed lives in this ever changing but beautiful planet earth :)

last night at work a co-worker was worried about having wrinkles but i told her that i will trade lots of wrinkles for a miracle making michael a normal child...i'm always told that i am aging gracefully, laughs. well, maybe because of the special climate here, or the camera is kind, or they are blind...(^&*)...i want to live for more than a century because of michael or else i've lived enough. i have experienced a lot in life already and i'm convinced that i am truly blessed. it started with an image of our mother of perpetual help when i was young at my side of the wall in our humble abode then. i was always helped, looked at, spared, saved at pinagpala since the very beginning so i can not ask for more... but no i am asking now that i will win the lotto, not for me but for all the down throddens in this world that i could touch with that much money. it will pretty sure makes my life busier, more colorful, more happier and more fulfilled...will this happen, only God knows but there is always nothing wrong with having hope...(^_~)...my life won't be just a ride to nowhere if ever...plus i will stop blogging by then :> as if anybody cared. but i knew no one does...

favorite videos :)

i always visit my past postings. they bring happiness to me...(^_~)...maybe i will make a video of me and saya in the future...(^&*)...a big maybe :>

slums in our midst

my house is silent but loud, my dreams are as damp and cold as the water that surrounds. my life is stripped of hope, my wish is for someone to notice my dirty and dusty road.

my clothes hang loosely to dry, my roof is patched and old, my food is stale and just leftovers i begged at dawn, my love ones are suffering, sick, and tired to the bones.

my eyes can't see the light, my head aches and full of thorns, my hair is filled with grime, my clothes tattered and torn, my body is tired and lost, my thin hands tremble with the cold as the rain falls and drops from those holes.

my house is unsteady and sways with the wind, my pillows are hastily patched with unwanted fabrics scattered around. my blanket smells like rotten rats, unwashed for weeks, life is hard.

so many of us live around like this
so many of us suffer silently in agony
so many of us are drained and doomed
so many of us needs help but are totally ignored...

we all have just one life to live. imagine living it in poverty...no it's not crocodile tears, i'm pretty sure if you cry for the poor that one must be true to your heart...i'm inclined to believe...(^&*)...but no one knows for sure really except you and God :)...all we can do is judge you by your actions of helping the disadvantaged, the downtrodden, the poor, the hungry and the likes not your words or tears :)...for so much lies happen in our lives. so much blinding fakes to make us fall into make believe worlds that do not exist. action speaks louder that words. so if you stick to this mantra you will know the truth :) you will be able to screen the play from the acts...and you will know the real...

compared to the rest of goodbyes, goodbye to poverty is never a sad time...