hope is what the new year means...

footprints in the sand...

as i walk freely at
your sandy shore
and gently thread
with my head bowed low
mind totally engrossed
with somber thoughts
heart stopping
heart breaking thoughts

serenity is there
as i sit down
with my eyes gazing
upon those waves
as they daintily dance
as they playfully splash
across the sand

peace, contentment
is what i get
as that gentle wind
that silent breeze
will pass and envelope
my hands, my feet
my body that is
so tired and beat

happiness is here
as i intently hear the sea's
murmuring sound waves
as that sun soaked water
dazzled with brilliance
like diamond that sparkles
and forever shines
which let my ever weary heart
let out a smile

footprints
washable memories
is all there is
is all i have
but today is a start
with the new year
coming at hand

another hope
another wish
for a better life
is just in sight
is just in store
for me, for you
and for us all

as i bid goodbye
to the beach
which colored my life
so many times before
with hopes to
be there again someday
with hopes to be
happy again someday
one more time
one more chance
once more...
***
a simple, positive stringing of words for the coming new year that gives me a smile, and makes me reflect. that purple NY beach is just lovely. i wonder what camera tricks made that possible. i know there is no such purple beach, just an illusion here. but a black beach, there is one in Hawaii. i watched and saw it on the travel channel last year. but anyhow, even what color a beach is, i still LOVE IT! a beach is always magic, always a paradise for me...(^_~)...comparable to a beautiful garden. perfect pics lifted from the web. hope you've enjoyed them as i did. really, a true purple beach will be very nice but there's none. not unless an artificially colored one exists somewhere. but I'm not a fan of make believes...

so again, my wish is...of so many many HAPPY NEW YEARS TO COME... for ALL of US :> 50 more years for me at least, that's my goal :) with good thoughts, nice words, and a "treasure trove" filled with that "bed pan" of kindness and of love to all, including the sick, the old, like me, laughs, and the needy :)...and of course the most important thing ...may the grace of God be all upon us for always...so CHEERS!!!... and HELLO 2008!!! :> but before we end this year, correct my english pls. for i want to be better in the english language for these coming years as well... thanks in advance :> although I'd like to stick more in reading Mr. Krip Yuson's articles for the main reason of...that i can learn writing better poems with them and this is no kidding...really and truly. what a year 2007 was in my blogging activity, laughs. don't worry in 2008, it will definitely change. i promise lesser entries, this if i can help it, that's the plan. hope it will materialize for that's what my intention really...so pls. God... help me in this regard :) i needed that badly as you can see in my millions of entries here...so no burst and bundles of you know what will happen again...now you know my NY's resolution, laughs... and always Good Luck to all of us as well :) so, see you all next year then? this to the few who visit me. and thanks sooo much for the time...i really do appreciate it... more than you'll ever know :)

comes december, 12-30-'07

twenty years later
on this month you've left us
too long ago but the hurt
is still upon us
the tears still drip
silent sobs still reign
every time we remember
every time comes December

it's been that long
but the wounds
never healed
the memories still fresh
of the last Christmas you've spent
of those last days that's left
of your life here on earth
we remember, comes December

never put your hands
hugging your sad face
never cry out loud
in dark despair
instead to quietly
suffer, to silently
accept what this life
has to offer

never put a pout on
those lips
try to put a smile in spite
of the pain
never bow in defeat
but instead
stand up and
fight till the end

always hope
for the best
always go on
without regrets
for every day
is a teacher
and every moment now
will soon be lost forever

dad, those were your thoughts
words of wisdom you've brought
to me, to us, to guide us
to help us in this life

too long ago now
but still we remember
too long ago now
but still we suffer
in your absence
we all cry in silence...

for dad, we still miss you a lot....

memories left

pictures hanging
on the wall
fixed with a smile
looking at you

words that you can
read and scroll
like remnants
in a pad full

thoughts scribbled
on air are reminders
that once we're here
walking on this earth

that's about it
nothing less
that's about it
nothing more

precious memories
important mementos
that marked our lives
like footprints
like sand prints
on a distant beach

a reminder
that we once lived
a reminder
that we once strolled
in this world
somewhere
around to behold

only to be erased
by the wind
only to be blown
by the waves
only to be forgotten
as the time ticked
as our lives bid
adios...

isn't it just sad that former Pakistani Prime Minister Bhutto left and she's just a memory now. this immediately after i wrote this poem? and NOBODY in the Phil. had wanted her to DIE, this as far as i knew of. so without wishing you to die, you'll die sooner or later according to your time to leave here on earth. so just a waste of time to wish anyone that, right? laughs. all you have as a weapon is PATIENCE my friend? :> but you might die first this you'll never know. so be very careful with what you wish for here for even you didn't wish it, it might be that it's your turn to exit here. sad again, isn't it? hmn, or maybe not to you since you're sad na nga so then this might be just the happiness in your life that you've been waiting for, laughs. how's my analogy? if you can call this that, laughs. oh well! for our thoughts inside will manifest in some ways in our write ups. how true :) and go to the blog or journal not in that national read stuff for you know things are camouflaged there, for cleaning it up purposes you know, i meant being edited there, laughs. so be smart, get it right, and i meant here, get it where it's right :> just another self help tip here in this blog. and may i remind you, you don't get much of that here :)

One Little Xmas Tree by Stevie Wonder

a very very interesting thought is this one. my parents were poor, like this little Xmas tree here compared to the one in San Lorenzo. Senorita had a big Xmas tree, every year. if they, my parents had enrolled me at the Philippine Science School then, which i think i would be qualified being me (with my "hard work and dedication" to anything that looks like a book, this is school book okay?") i had the highest grade and been on top in that honor roll call, laughs, amongst only just 200 students, would i be in a different field of study? say in literature and had been a writer, a poet? hmn. really, circumstance and fate had worked here clearly for me...my aunt who was a good cook introduced me instead to her Spanish rich boss who owned a bank and a mining company and built me up so maybe she thought, this was my senorita "that my mind is a terrible thing to waste" laughs. remember that motto of the "negro, united black college foundation?" so she, senorita, with that in mind probably had sent me to a very excellent catholic nursing university. i remembered clearly she told me that UST not UP is the best school for nursing and she had the money to fund my education so, i just followed her lead. with this i was inclined to believe that i was lucky and had Divine intervention, like sort of a Divine connection to fulfill what was meant for me, my destiny which is to be a nurse. although senorita always joked at me then that she should have sent me to be an MD instead, darn! again, citing my life as an example, what will become of us is the result of what God had wanted us to be, our divine destiny. and BTW, my aunt's name is "Maria" like the virgin Mary. and also i had two uncles that loved to invent things being cited by their teachers then as a genius, laughs. yeah very true. just sad that they were poor so money had limited their future, but i think God had meant a different route for them for they died on their 20's, very young both by pneumonia which is very fatal then without the necessary medical intervention. now if i was in a Literature or English class, then i wouldn't be despised as to how i expressed myself in the Internet in one writer's blog and then nationally by another writer which "he" wrote that he had low tolerance for idiots? like me being not superior in intellect in the writing world. i took it like a man err like a woman, for i thought if given the chance i could have been one like him, laughs. in the discipline where he is in. and that is hitting one maid so low beneath the belt. ouch! that was me, laughs. but really, intelligence is multifaceted. one excels in one field of endeavour as another one does in a different one. now I'm thinking i never read a book that has much merit to it, except the bible every now and then. you could tell for i can't come up with anything in my profile, laughs. but imagine the possibilities that my brain would had become if i was introduced to a lot of books in my formative years? laughs. a maid like me could? or maybe will be able to write a dissertation, whatever that means, laughs. for truly if i didn't Google it, i had only a very little idea of it, laughs. oh well. but again that wasn't my divine destiny so it never happened. instead, i am a nurse now living my life in America, instead of being another in a different world in a different field...and with my conversation style of English for i did pick up with what my environment is there to offer, in their media outlets. i would think it would be very different again if i had opened their books, American books, that is :) although I'm not a reader, by choice though. i can find time if i want to. one of my reasoning is that i don't want to be influenced by another mind although I'm pretty sure it will be of tremendous help, but the hard headed me can't seem to go in that direction :) but i do pick up books which eventually would end up being unread. like the one by president Clinton's mom, on how to raise a son that would become a president and those books about princess Diana and self help books which would be very handy if i am interested in doing something that i like and love to do...so you can tell, the books that i pick up are the things that would "help" me live my life a little easier... and hopefully a little happier too...that does count, i have "intelligence?"laughs.
***
and i hope you liked Stevie Wonder Xmas song here that is playing on air right now, for i do. a very meaningful music for this yuletide season. a blind artist since infancy but overcome his circumstance in life. hmn, can he be considered a genius too? now that is the question :)
***
and to add, can we call the ones with higher IQ's here as the "cream of the crop?") and the oppposites as the "cream of the crap?") :> hmn, way back, i came across with a write up with that title, and that raised curiosity in me, laughs. oh well. but really, intelligence is not all there is, for compassion, love, and understanding another human being whatever their IQ is, has far more reaching value in human terms that God would smile at, that i believe so in my heart :) also what bugs me with this tree that i decorated is, my cousin told me that i have artistic ability, really? and where is that? laughs. oh well. my cousin wants to be in my good graces or plainly love me, hmn. until now i still couldn't figure out the right answer to that, so talk about reading people here. which sometimes i claim that i think i can do, laughs. so to me... only just a luck in that draw. stop and hold my horses, laughs. whatever that means. very funny! this is good about a blog for you can say err write whatever you want to, with the thought that you're being read? that, really i'm not sure. but whatever the case is, to do whatever i'd like my fingers to take me, typing away my thoughts :> with my brain as the firing engine...so that's that :)

"Messiah" by Handel

the greatest music to be ever composed...this according to Mozart, Beethoven and the rest of the music greats...very fitting for a King...the Messiah who is born today. this pic or painting? is lifted from the www. thanks to you who shared it with us. this is the best yet ever that i have taken from cyberspace. i do like and love it a lot, champion! :> after this wonderful tune, the music will change. i hope you did enjoy your visit :)

okay, my gift to all of you :)

an image of the smallest Xmas tree ever, laughs, mine. well, you know now that i can't have a big tree for i only decorate on the last minute :) too much time to do that decorating and i only do have very little time, so that meant a very little tree for me here. oh well. so what do you think? did you like it? laughs. sorry to disappoint you, Christmas pa naman. tsk! pero diba it's not in the size naman, it is in the thought that really counts, right? laughs. so what's my gift from you :? and btw, my relatives in CA liked my tree, even if you don't :) and pls. click to enlarge my pitiful tree, you know, to see my tree and my decorations in a bigger light, laughs.

***

and this reminds me of that big tree in San Lorenzo Village, every year for those ten years that i lived there. i even helped decorate it and believe me it takes forever. so i said to myself, I'm small, not rich, so I'll match it with my tree. so that's the reasoning behind this, laughs. J.C. is not happy, but i do the job so it's my decision :) sorry, okidoki? laughs. and yup i have tantalizing blinking lights which you can't see. this made up for my poor decorations, laughs. oh well.

***

and of course seriously speaking i gave Jesus a present. a gift that is very important and very precious to me :) ask Him if you want to know what it was... for I'm not telling... but you can guess and bet and that's about it, laughs. i know He'll like it...

the BEST DAY of the year is TODAY :)

the BIRTHDAY of JESUS ...the reason of this season, after all :) and the best thing for me this christmas is my 5 days off from work to do some decorating and a litlle cleaning here and there. but did you think that i was able to do that? nope, laughs. no tree yet. gosh! i'm terrible *} also...just that phil. made lantern that according to the store where i bought mine two years ago is...a whopping 350 USD now, yes folks, just a blinking lantern is worth too much dough. now i trust you'll be much more intelligent than me, laughs. spread that money to do a much more meaningful endeavour this Xmas :)

and i'm just fascinated, smiling, seeing my son play that "rockband" game with his friends. the music is loud. it reverberates into the deepest corner of your ears, laughs. what a difference. rock n' roll then and now. it seems like kids now adays are some kind of in a mad frenzy and they take it in music to cool down, laughs. long hair and all of that too. gosh! and now J.C. is really getting me mad now adays for he likes to grow his hair long! *} and my trick does not even work now. it used too... when i say my Xmas gift is this...it will be given. yesterday i told him that i want his hair cut, my gift from him. and did you know what he said to me? "then, you're not getting it!" think about that! i'll have a blue christmas! *} don't get me wrong his hair is not really that long.

and what really caught me by surprise is my thinking that playing the guitar is a lot harder than the drum. but no. everytime the other kid is on the drums they fail in the game, but when J.C. took over the drums, they score on the 90's :> see, mom? i don't only have 4 drum set but there is this thing under my feet to control too, so it is more complicated and i have rhythm, this is according to Mrs Kreiger, his piano teacher. J.C. was twice in a row the number one in their recital program, the best performer, with that trophy, when he was just a kid, laughs. he can really play the piano well. a lot lot more better than me. oh well.

yes, the best part of the year is here one more time upon us. being lucky as we are again in the midst of our family, friends and love ones. we will never know if we will be as lucky next year. if we will be blessed again and have the privilege to be alive, invited to share in this glorious b-day celebration. so in this light let our thanks be in the form of love. love to all, be that they're not our favorite persons, for who knows if this will be our last time to participate in this merry making, in this one of a kind joyous occasion being celebrated around the globe. so in this regard, i wish you all the very best in this Holiday season. Merry Xmas! Love to all! ...and always remember in your heart...to shoot love and to give love...for that's what you'll get back in return :>

and in keeping with the other meaning of my name which is HAPPY= JOY...let's all be positive in our thoughts and actions for JESUS' sakes, not only for today but for ALWAYS...so we can have these...joy and happiness in our HEARTS too :> very basic rules really, not even worth mentioning it here, laughs. but i will though just the same as a reminder for you and for me :)

On air playing now is the most requested Xmas song ever requested by the listening american public according to the radio station that i always tune in :) love it! happy listening while you enjoy your noche buena :> as if you're reading this blog, laughs ...(^_~)...

somewhere in time

somewhere in time
the birds flew so free
somewhere in time
circling that open sky

somewhere in time
the sea was calm and still
somewhere in time
as gentle waves splashed

flowing in unison with your steps
as you walk by that white sandy beach
reflecting with your thoughts
so deep like an endless dungeon
without no end without no home

thinking about the mystery of life
juggling the thoughts in your mind
why things happen as they are
why people weep and cry
why people suffer and die
why why why

life is but a state?
a step to the next?
but all we know is that
we all live we all leave and die
when it's time for us to part
and bid this earth goodbye
this created paradise for us

then we're only just but a memory
a passing fleeting piece of thought
by our love ones in their conversations
by our love ones in their reflections

why is life so short
why is life so full
of questions unanswered
that lingers in our mortal soul

why is happiness so fickle
why is a smile only stays for awhile
why can't contentment run and thrive
in our lives, in our hearts for all time...

music is by John Barry... a rhapsody on a theme on Paganini...

ONE YEAR!!!...I'm celebrating, with my blog's bloom :>

one year is done
one year is gone
one year of typing
under the sun

one year of joy
one year of smiles
on year of laughter
mostly full of fun

jokes jabs galore
pokes spikes and all
just to protect
defend and deflect

bad spirits exist
in this universe
that's why this blog was created
in the first place

now am i lonely
now am i not happy
old and a stalker
as the devil defined me

with one year of words
with one year of blurbs
you have the tools now
to see me somehow

judge me not with what
other people had put up
judge me not with what a
biased human being had came up

some pages of my life
now is opened up
some parts of me now
came open wide

another reason this blog
was created after all
is to mark a memory
for you, for me and for all
for memories are
just important in our lives
to be referred to
in the future by our loves

thanks for the visits
thanks for the jabs
my life was made richer
by all of that
for in it i had the props
the tools that i need
to rise and to stand up

in it, i discovered
what's made of me
a defending and a
fighting lady for the
truth in the most
sincerest way

again thanks for the flaks
again thanks for the jabs
in it i was made stronger
from all of that

although i wish
of no more of it
bec. for me to love
is better than to hate...

HAPPY ONE YEAR OF BLOGGING MARKS & MEMORIES! :> what an unforgettable ride...the job is done, now what's next? only God knows of course, but I'm hoping for the best :) some changes and moving on should be and will be the next. the challenge to have this free for all open to the public journal was met. as if it was just only yesterday. time flew so fast, i think. so i need to slow down and catch up with some much more important things in life. to the few who visited, relatives, friends and the opposite, i thank you for your time and for your visit :) i will still blog but not as often and only in random cases now. a new year will soon be here and this means a new beginning and of closing a previous page. this to be able to go to the next. in spite of it all, it's been a pleasure to unleash some inner thoughts unimportant they maybe. now i can say, "i did it, i have it" a so called on line diary, somewhere in outer space or in cyberspace, somewhere in time :)

I've been looking forward to this day for say a month now, laughs. Oh well. Finally it's here! and this is the TRUTH folks, in a poem. Sorry to disappoint YOU, but since the very beginning I only deal in truths, for lies only paralyze us and only lead us to Lucifer's lair, not good if you ask me :)

and thanks to YOU, you're the third person to suggest that i open up a blog after i "first" suggested that to you, laughs. so you got your wish and in the process the illusion died down, your illusion, created by your own devil mind. but in a weird way i thank you, as you read my poem? above, and you know the reason why. i wish you all the best this Christmas even how bad you dragged me into the mud for no reasons at all, and that says much as to what kind of a human being you are. but even then, may the peace of Christ be with you and your love ones this Christmas and i truly meant that. so from now on? let's just make LOVE, alright? no lies, no using me or that sort of stuff...and people are fair, people can tell the difference. let's give them that credit :> and we understand, you love so much, but be very careful for too much love can kill, too much care is poison as jealousy is a pain in the you know what, laughs. oh well.

so to the few who visited me, thanks, thanks, thanks...kisses to you all! have a wonderful and a happy yuletide season!!!

hindi ka tutuo

hindi tutuo pala
na nandito ka
hindi tutuo pala
na makulay ka
hindi tutuo pala
na mahal ka nila
hindi tutuo
kathang isip
ka lang pala

ngayong bukas na ang
buhay mo
ngayon mahirap
ka nang hindi
magpakatutuo
mahirap magsinungaling
sa harap nang tao
kaya ang tutuo
na lang ang sinasabi mo

ilan ang mga pusong
nasawi dahil sa iyo
ilan ang mga buhay
na nasira sa pagkukunwari mo
ilan ang pamilyang
nasira mo
sumagot ka wala kang
masabi dahil
hindi ka tutuo...

laughs...gosh! a new frontier of stringing words in tagalog that is :> wow, i can do that din pala, laughs...sorry, sa iyo. pero, no harm done kasi hindi ka naman tutuo :) and you know baliwalang poems like this took me only 5-10 minutes to write. i wonder if i have to use my old, half a century coconut say for one week, maybe i can come up with a much more makabuluhan o makahulugang tula, laughs. oh well, but that is stretching it a bit. for my talent? o kalokohan? will really be up to this stretch, it's mine so who should be in a better position to know? me... *}

and pardon for this poem? just cracks me up on my re-reads laughs. so serious but actually it is just very funny to me. yes ladies and gents as if i am being read by anyone here. sometimes us knowing the truth of things is a relief and freedom from bondage to the lies and the deceits, that is. i think so, laughs. oh well, such is life...full of make believes. so be very careful, you people out there :)

YOU

i knocked on your door
and YOU opened it up
I walked on your stairs
and YOU guided me
with your hands
not only that...
you gave me shelter
and food to fill
my ever hungry
stomach

YOU are the sun
that warmed my heart
YOU are the light
that shined on my path
YOU are the bridge
that i walked upon
to reach my destination
this glorious land

YOU are the wind
that propelled my wings
YOU are the engine
that drove my fate
YOU are the spring
where pure water is drawn
to quest my thirst
that filled my soul

YOU are the song
that brought a smile
YOU are the author
for the most part
of my life
YOU are the spirit
that is so kind
YOU are an angel
sent by God

YOU gave me happiness
and so much hope
that i forever cherish
in my heart and
held up close

YOU meant so much to me
YOU are the sea and the sky combined
YOU are the sunshine in my life, as
YOU will be the glorious sunset
that I'll forever admire :)

this poem is for the most memorable person in my life :)

New Year is almost here. next year I'd like to see a US woman president, but even i will vote for Hillary, how come i feel that she won't win, hope I'm wrong. and to a favorite pinay actress, i feel also that she and her beloved are not meant to be, just a feeling, but i might be wrong like GMA being widowed, laughs, but...

the colors and gifts of christmas that are hot :)

borrowed from the web :) as always flowers fascinate me, a never ending source of serenity, peace and wonder, for me. if i can be re-incarnated back after i lived to be 100 :> I'd like to be a powder puff or a poinsettia, or one of those fragrant blooms. the ilang-ilang, jasmine and another that i forgot its name, white and it's almost similar to these blooms but smaller in petals :) a rosal? hmn.

***

"blue Spanish eyes" playing on air right now is a song for my senorita, the beautiful virgin Mary look alike Spanish lady, my benefactor...she brought a much more meaningful Christmas for me years and years ago that changed my life forever, giving me the chance to enjoy my life in a country, which most of my countrymen would consider a paradise...I'm blessed and I'm ever thankful to God...I'm reminded of it always but most especially comes December. i considered it as a gift unsurpassed, a gift that only a few were lucky to have, to be sent to school for free without any strings attached, without me paying her anything in return. indeed I'm a very lucky person and a very blessed individual in this regard :) nothing that i can ever do would repay her for her kindness and generosity than pray for her to God. that she will be bestowed with grace, peace and love all through out her lifetime. i cry, i smile with tears rolling down my cheeks whenever these thoughts come to mind...

***

so it's a "gift galore" for me. education after all can't be taken away from me. it's mine to keep till the end of time, my time on earth, that is :) but even a bible, a rosary or a spectacle aka a gazing protective glass for the mirror of your soul, your eyes will do just as good as well. but as i've said before your heart comes first or on top before your eyes. for it's your heart that beats with love for your fellowman and i would rather have a kind heart that has love for humanity than a twinkling deceiving eyes of the devil that only see the bad, the disgusting and the sad things in life *}

***

and yes, these gifts for this holiday season are to die for :> did you have them as a gift before? now that is the question, laughs. if not, time to ask them from your lady love or the apple of your eyes...(^_~)... then enjoy your precious gifts this Xmas, this if you are on the good side of the equation, or dig these gifts :) but if not then you can always replace them with mementos from Lucifer, the devil. like an ax, a broom or a pitiful fork... or whatever strikes or suites your fancy *}

Ikaw

Ikaw
isa ka lamang palang panaginip
na hindi ko maabot
Ikaw
nakakabaliw, nakakahalina
di nakakakilabot, laughs here

Sa tuwina naaalala kita
hindi ko malimotlimot
Ang ngiti mong napakatamis
nakakagayuma, at nakakalunod, laughs here again

Ikaw ang aking umaga
Ikaw ang aking gabi
pati sa tanghali, talagang ikaw ay nakakabighani
Ikaw ang aking araw
na nasa alapaap ko buong magdamag
Ikaw ang isla na gusto kong marating
kahit sa akin man lang pangarap

pero ikaw kaya ay tututo
pero ikaw kaya ay mabango
na kahit hindi ka maligo nang isang linggo
ay gusto pa rin kitang makahalubilo, laughs, again

o ikaw kaya naman ay isang gagamba
na kumakagat nang mga tainga
di gayon kong ganyan ayaw na kita
kasi hindi ka pala mabait
salbahe ka, laughs

ikaw, ako, tayo ay magpakatutuo
sa planetang ito o sa ating mundo
hahit sino ka man kahit sino ako
pipiliin pa rin natin na makasama
ang mga taong napapangiti tayo...(^_~)...

well, thetet, i tried to make a poem in tagalog, laughs. but that neruda one really ang nakakatulala, na hindi ko magayagaya, kaya pasensiya na :) tsk! as you can see as i try to lay low in my postings some unsolicited inspiration would accidentally pop up. oh well, really. don't know as if some force is saying out there "don't quit" but i didn't plan that ever, only to slow down a bit *} now come on, pls. help, laughs. oh well.

when little things mean a lot...

maria theresa, the cure: hot green tea with honey, 1 tsp in a cup and drops of kalamansi juice, 3x a day, plus the ricola cough candy, use as directed. rest, rest, rest and lots of chicken soup, with dandelion leaves, pero i don't think you have them there. take care hon, and i love that posted poem :> i wish i can make one as good as that :) and J.C. has colds right now but it's almost over. maligayang pasko sa iyo at manigong bagong taon! and sorry to hear about your grandma's demise...

yes, with just a little change from my rich Spanish blue eyed lady benefactor, i am a nurse right now. at x-mas time I'd like to remember how lucky i am. an oldie but a very meaningful music for me..."blue Spanish eyes" for her. she'll never know how a very little amount of money for her, had meant a lot and so much more for me... my life had been changed tremendously with her little change, kind heart and generosity...i can't thank her enough, that i cry always at the thought of it...and now is no different...in this case, her eyes definitely have it :) her eyes, and Forbes Park in manila, where her husband spent his younger years. sounds not correlated but it is in a crookedly strange way. did you know that might be the reason why he married her? her eyes? laughs. although they bought this huge three in a row lot in san lorenzo not in that forbes' exclusive village and built their love's nest there. pretty, luxurious, nice garden now and all of that rich stuff :) so girls never cover your eyes for you'll never know if a rich guy will be around lookin' you know, laughs.

Jesus

http://synergy_2.tripod.com/lyrics/ruggedc1.html

he never wrote a book
he never wrote a song
no reception was set aside
to praise and honor his life

he lived simply and humbly
with the poor and the lowly
he was born with nothing
in a manger under the moonbeams

he never lived like a king
he never ruled in extremes
but preached and prevailed
up to this day he is hailed

like a strong force undefined
like a star or a love for all times
with words of wisdom cast in stones
forever to guide us in this world...

HAPPY B-DAY JESUS! OUR LORD, OUR SAVIOR & OUR GOD...no other song is as heart stopping than this link had offered. for you on your special day :) thanks for inviting us the living for another chance, another year to be here on earth alive on your beautiful planet to celebrate this day with you...no songs, no words are enough to express my thanks, but i will try :> please, make peace and love reign on earth for always, so that no more hate, no more tears and no more suffering will be here tearing us all apart...life is a mystery just like the question of why do your people had to suffer, but since you knew everything i trust with faith that there is a reason here beyond our own human understanding, behind our very limited perception of things compared to yours. although it's really heart breaking to see so much sadness and so much pain around. i guess it's just our way of sharing your cross and your suffering at Calvary. with that it made me feel better and somewhat at peace, although still there is a hole and a nagging part of me that is there at times but i will manage. life is a gift from you, and i can't thank you enough for that. and most importantly is we are sinners and with your sacrifice you made us complete, you made us whole, again. life is a struggle sometimes and knowing you are always there is a great help to our morale, mine at least. hope till we see you and meet you in heaven, our lives could be as pure and as clear as that morning dew that dwells in those soft rose petals in the early dawn of the morning and as fresh as that mountain breeze that blows quietly near an isolated beach. my thanks is not enough, but still i will try as i will try to live a life that is in conformity with your values, with your rules and to your set of standards...bec. I'm grateful to you and i love you...for always. thanks again for everything...and thanks for loving us all :) we are indeed lucky for having you...as our good and knowing God. nothing can compare with your love and kindness, no one can measure the sacrifice you've given for us... nothing and no one...

the song is as sad as a sinner in repentance, but as heartwarming as a love that's true and tried :) soft and smooth penetrating a heart :> one of a kind...i love it! mesmerizing, enchanting and all of that good stuff, no kidding... a winner!

Santa, the true illusion in your face

every December
comes Santa
dressed in red
merrily hopping
sliding in your
chimney
full of goodies
filled with gifts

every Christmas
children are hoping
and are praying
that they'll be
in his list
waiting at midnight
for a gift

then they grow older
and wiser and they
found out that
Santa is just a
make believe
no big jolly
good fellow
that's driven by
a sleigh with that
ho ho ho

a fake, an illusion
created to deceive
untrue and only exist
when you're young
naive and easily
tricked

but Santa thanks for
your presence of nothingness
for you made some young eyes
twinkled at their early years
until of course when they discovered
that you were just a fake
an illusion in their minds
only just a make believe, sad...

but why I am laughing? i'm weird, that's why :> so pardon pls. :) there is this story about a young girl who does not want to visit her grandmother at Christmas time bec. she said Santa is coming and he wouldn't know her grandma's address, so she refused to go. but her mom told her that they'll leave a note for Santa so he can find her to give her the gift, so she agreed to go. but then she was thinking again and have another question to her mom. she asked if her grandma has a chimney, laughs. see, how young kids are duped into believing these lies, laughs. this was a story between two co-hosts in a TV show this week. then one of them turned to the other and asked. do you still believe in Santa? and the other one answered with a big laugh "then, i used to" laughs. oh well. meaning when he was younger but now he is 50 years old, he knows better, laughs. oh well. very funny. this Santa story during Christmas time, really did give me a chuckle :> i wonder how old are these kids when they found out the truth. J.C. was 8, for i told him that there is no Santa, laughs. to save him the heartaches you know. poor kid for at first he thought i was lying, terrible! so i told him to wait for your gift under the tree, and i did not plan to put any gift for him that year to prove my point. so when Christmas was over he was sold to the idea that Santa does not exist. only to the gullible, only to the brainwashed young. oh well. and really did you believe me when i told you about the co-host's age? laughs, for really he never told us his age, i just made that up, although really he looked much younger. see i got you there, laughs. oh well, again! too funny to me at least. gosh!

MERRY CHRISTMAS & A HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

with a look alike x-mas star and a look alike sun flower, i wish you all the best in this yuletide season...enjoy this most merriest part of the year... :) some unkind animal or insect had bitten the petals of this yellow flower. but still it looked very pretty, to my eyes at least. beauty after all is in the eyes of the beholder, as that saying goes :> and i noticed the red and the yellow colors seem to compliment each other, a very nice combination :) thanks to the web and to this nice lady who captured these, nice shots :)

my blog's music is in shuffle mode now, with holiday tunes but some are not. hope you'll enjoy my taste in music but if not, do you think i'll give a care? nope and all you have to do is to click out, laughs. oh well. but still, i wish you a happy yuletide season :) before you go...(^_~)...

happy listening to the ones that have the same audio taste like mine. cheers! :>

A glittering spruce tree, aka, X-mas tree :)

It's been a very long night. After a 12 hour night shift and then accompanying J.C. to Kensington Park (this very gorgeous park surrounded by small lakes here) for his class field trip, I'm very, very tired and ready to hit my bed. It's about 12 noon now, it rained very early this morning. But this glittering pine tree caught my eyes. It has sparkles all over it, like diamonds with all that glitter and shine. Amazing! Just too bad that it can't be seen very well in this video take...wish there will be an invention that will do that in the future for the best part is very well missed in this regard...just a little sad that I couldn't share and capture all of it for eternity, what I'm seeing and experiencing exactly as it is in this moment in time... all that rainbow like sparkle all that diamond like daze. Pure amazement :) Christmas during fall, this year :>
***
in some of the things in life like in music for example, several interpretations of a song exist, like a story told, it takes several dimensions of it as many as there are story tellers and singers out there, but...there is only ONE original that will ever exist which only the originator or the author is privilege to OWN... :) and...you're at the mercy of that person bec. he or she alone will have the sole decision to tell you the truth or the lies, laughs. oh well! really :> so what are you supposed to do? laughs. nothing. for the truth will come out in due time. now you got that from here, laughs. yup, if it smells rotten it will for sure permeates the air, a stinky odor can't be hidden for long after all...so you just wish and pray that IT will be the smell of jasmine, aka, sampaguita instead that will blow gently into your nose, and that will be heaven indeed. at least now you got something good in this blog, laughs. oh well, again :)

time ticked goodbye

a year at the end of its ropes
an exhibit ending for good
a display of illusions
like magic it captured
my attention and yours
only to be lost
only to reach
its twisted fate of doom

adios tricks, illusions
goodbye i bid you soon
your clout can't have me
no more
your toys can't capture me
anymore
for it'll end now
and all will be forgotten
as it should

silent night, starless night
moonless dark gloomy sky
but tomorrow will be different
tomorrow there will be heat
the sun will rise again
the sun will warm us again
and this time the heat will stay
in our hearts forever
till our last day on earth :)

what a poem, laughs. oh well. we are just sometimes taken for a ride and the bad thing is more often than not we never even realized that. too naive, too trusting we sometimes have fallen prey and ended up victims to unscrupulous personas. very sad. so, it's time to wake up, laughs. for our sanity and for our lives...it's easy, just take it as it never existed anyway, so no harm done :> only in the unseen imagination, yours, mine and theirs. so substitution is the answer. replace it with the real, wake up and do it now, laughs. then everything will be fine. and you don't even need anyone to help you, for you did it yourself. now you can congratulate yourself for your silent victory...(^_~)... a new dawn of light coming on the horizon is awaiting for you, with that sincerest smile and honest to goodness laughter that will capture your day now and for always. that would really be nice :) and may i remind you, death is the only permanent goodbye, take it from there, laughs...for "i shall return" to paraphrase the late Douglas MacArthur. for life is a game sometimes that is too nice to miss :)

lantern of blinking lights...

... mine :> hanged in our window with a view at this time of year, taken 12-21-'05... two years ago with all that white snow at the neighborhood as you can see :) and i re-use this 250 USD lantern every x-mas time. too expensive i thought then, but i closed my eyes when i wrote that check, laughs. it turned out that it's worth it after all for i can use it more than once, laughs. only thing is some bulbs burned out and i forgot to buy some replacements there last July. oh well. even then i love it still :)

when you wished you had it

would it make you complete
when your eyes
twinkled like a star?

would it make you smile
when your mind
was as bright as the sun?

would it make you laugh
when your hands
were a magic one?

would it, or will it
makes your life worthwhile

would you think twice
if you see a man that's blind
would you stop at your tracks
if you see a lame and a beggar

would you care enough
to give them your time
or would you think otherwise
and wish you're out of sight

would you make a note
to the lonely and the deprived
would you give them a gift
to ease their burden in life

would you or will you
spare your time

or just when you died
faced with saint Peter
at your side
you wished you had
the luxury the chance and
the wisdom to chose what's right

and never ever cared
and never ever thought
and never ever dreamed
that your eyes would
have rolled over nor
have twinkled like a star...

a mesmerizing string of words, to me at least. in this case the eyes, the mirror of your soul, sad to say does not have it. for it's the heart that beats right that have the love, that have the care to make us laugh and smile...so would it be better to find out what's in one's heart than in their eyes? although it would be hitting two birds with one stone if one soul has them both perfect at the same time. a win, most definitely yes! :> so all of you, show them those eyes? laughs. for the heart can be felt at work in circumstances that you wouldn't even have planned for... if it's merciful it will always show and if it's kind it will always care :) well said, i thought so. but it's just only me talking to myself here, laughs. oh well. but if you think about it, it makes sense, really...be mesmerized and be captivated...with that glowingly golden heart :> for the eyes are sometimes the deceiving tools of the devil, better believe it than not...and kindness should not only be given to those that you love, or to those that love you but to those that hate you as well. now i know that's hard but it's a test on how good of a human being you are :) this is not something new, it's been out there but only ignored and forgotten, for your focus is on those eyes, laughs. gosh!

the Immaculate Conception, 12-08-'07

http://www.aloha.net/~mikesch/immac.htm

"Ave Maria" playing on air... so many beautiful music, so many mesmerizing melodies and this is one of them too, dedicated to the blessed Virgin Mary, the most important woman that ever lived on earth. thanks to talented composers and singers, if not for their works, the world will be as boring as a barren beach, uninteresting as a bald mountain, and as sad as a satanic shrine. yes, music is a part of me, and a part of my name. thanks to Verdi and Elton John. it's just that music is a magic that the true person in me can't give justice to, laughs. although, i can play the piano but not that good, and i can sing but not that well, that i wanted it to be *} so i let other people with this awesome talent do the job for me :) even Tito my husband can't sing :< but J.C. thinks he can. this boy loves music, his ears always have this ear piece covering it all the time with that music box in his hand that you have to resort to sign language to catch his attention. terrible. i think so, laughs. but it's funny too :)

Unusual look alike

the web described it as a weed resembling the x-mas flower. nice and different, i like it :) it might be the lost cousin of the poinsettia :> now, i don't remember these flowers being grown in the Phil. but I've been absent for a long time now during the x-mas holiday, for you know what? they blocked these two weeks for vacations, very wise and mean at the same time, laughs. but yeah, another tree for my Phil. garden in the future :) they grow it here in Florida, so there's no reason why it can't thrive in the Phil... so powder puff you have now a partner for life, laughs.

Christmas' beautiful blooms

A poinsettia tree, a painted one and a second year in bloom, on top. Taken from the web, nice shots really, I wish they were mine :> hmn, a look a like, young Princess Diana, pretty in pink :)

how to suffer in silence...

Amazingly pretty, plus meaningful :)

the powder puff tree and a look alike bloom in purple. you can tell that i'm crazy about this flower, laughs. i truly love it! for it means, "let's celebrate" to me :> click to enlarge. and purple next to pink is my favorite color, laughs.

***

yes, pink is first. the color Brad Pitt had chosen for his humanitarian project in building houses for people affected by hurricane Katrina. and last night at Larry King Live, when Larry asked why not green or any other color, he said, "this color screamed the loudest" laughs. bad answer i thought, laughs. it would be better if he said, "pink means love and i love these people" diba, mas makahulugan :) not just like a shout unheard. tsk! i wish he could have paused a little bit and came up with a much more meaningful answer that will forever be remembered in our minds, mine at least, but who cares. even then high kudos for him indeed for there he is, doing good in "action" not only in "words" which a lot of us are good at...now that is truly bad, laughs. for words are nothing without deeds and all wise humans knew that, laughs. it's just like a joke that needed to be shelved and can't be laugh at, and that's for sure. sorry, but it's true...

***

i had one powder puff tree bought here for my garden 3 yrs. ago, but it died. sad. just like my double petalled sampaguita from there, it died too. but, hey, there are lots of powder puffs and jasmines out there, in the Phil. or in the tropics. so i will get a tree or another shrub for my Phil. abode one of these days and i truly meant that. death is not the end to me when it comes to my plants and flowers. it meant another search for a replacement! hmn, not me to be sad forever for I'd like to be smiling and i can get that from a powder puff :) weird but it's definitely true. these shots are 'borrowed' from the web, to be kept forever, of course :) i just took a copy, this is the way i see it, laughs. oh well. but honestly, no flower lights up my face than powder puffs. i'm in heaven when i see one :> and that means powder puffs are priced as paradise in my book :) so my garden of Eden is just a powder puff away, laughs. cheap, but definitely it's colorful, lovely, lively and enchanting all rolled into one. pardon, for my world lights up when this flower is the topic, i can't help it for I'm totally hooked. but better than to be paralized with booze and drugs for that's a no no in my book! for that is considered a black day for one person, not very good. i knew first hand, for i deal with that problem in my line of work...and it's sad...

one, the first, soon...12-21-'07

definitely not one year of dirty laundry, laughs. but one year it is. my open diary in the sky, that is what i define blogging. but if you're that private of a person just like me, you just go on with the generalities, living the sensitive ones out about your life untold and to this date all the things that I've ever wanted to share is out and also the reason that I'm here in the first place was met already. the challenge was won. good and the light came over. winning the devil, the bad and the bitch, laughs, sorry for these words, just can't help it. at least the world is free to look at me and to judge with some things to go on with their hands :) btw, thanks for the visit. it is really very very much appreciated :) once in awhile i may pop out for things that i think, is important... but right now that's about it for a nobody like me...(^_~)... I'm going on with my life as it used to be. so marking a memory will now be only on a PRN basis as we refer to in medical term. the world of maintaining health, your most precious possession, second to life, my world, the pursuit of health and well being. and i'm blessed to be in it. no hatred but all triggered and fueled or moved with the goal to serve, to love and to help my sickly co-humans. yes, to help, one of the meaning of my name according to that book, laughs, if you believe in it. oh well. i made it to one year, with daily entries :> so many things to say, to discuss, to cover, but too little time...i must prioritize, you know, laughs. for life is short, life should be used more intelligently...so that's it. nice meeting you all in cyberspace. it's been a pleasure, most of the time that is...love, always, and thanks once more to the few who visited :) i won't be gone, but will still be here. only, just once in awhile. but even then, see you in those few, trickling moments, laughs. life goes on you see :)

and most definitely, this is not yet my last entry :> this if God allows :) hope that yours won't be the last either, for entertainment purposes you know. we shouldn't be in a hurry to say goodbye for it will come, sooner or later for you and for me and the best thing is...it will be out in our hands, for it's a big surprise from God...don't yah love that? laughs. for i do...(^_~)... :)

Ciao

after a life in this universe
after all the laughter and the tears
time spent went like a pouring rain
it flowed, it dripped, it drained

been together through the years
inspite the problems and the pains
fought, smiled and reconciled
till the time has come to part

days went by bathed by the sun
happiness was here but now it's gone
sadness soared over joy in our hearts
as cold nights took over covered us

no more left to say as silence reigned
dark universe prevailed and poised to win
love was not enough to keep us in
together for always as we planned then

be lovers or friends it's hard to part
to end a life that we used to have
death as despicable now must come
in relationships whatever that was

goodbyes, adios taste bitter as bile
closing a door behind, that's painfully hard
tho' think about the dawn of days to come
not spent in darkness, a liberation, that is freedom :)

goodbyes are means of opening doors to a much more meaningful hellos...

one and first, 12-21-'07

time ticked away so fast
fast as a soaring jet above
above those clouds so thick
thick as a mind can't predict

predict a one year of words
words that jot down a world
world of a fleeting life
life that is all but timed

timed eyes that stalk and peek
peek in an invisible streak
streak of technology that hide
hide a face in this wide universe

universe that see them as real
real but behind the veil
veil of anonymosity like tricks
tricks like magic not real

real but only in your eyes
eyes that can't see for it's blind
blind to the sights and sounds
sounds of a wandering heart

heart that writes what it's like
like an ocean, that endless vast
vast that travels far and wide
wide as this earth can provide

one not two but first
first if you count in numbers
numbers that fire a math
math which counts a record

a record that jots down a life
a life of ranks in one's eyes
eyes of one person like me
me that wants to greet my first year anniversary!

"happy b-day M&M!" a so called shabby poem for you :) to celebrate your one year of existence, a poor poem but still it's cool...for it's better than nothing :> i think so...and i knew you don't care, laughs.

tales of a slave

bitter sweet taste
of tears streaming
down your cheeks
dry and cracked palms
of your hands
cupping your sad face
with IQ so low
just bottomless
under the charts
but does your heart
beats similar to them
and theirs as always?

body that's badly
beaten and bruised
body that's tortured
tricked and thrown
with red puffy eyes
bleeding in pain
with silent sobs
heard in the drain
tired and humiliated
arms stretched out for help
but only the angels
the cherubims of God answered...

yup, a hanging and a drying poem? in the life of a slave. aired in a clothes line where your dirty laundry is being dried and this made me return so quick. tsk! too bad, against my will if I may add, but you wouldn't want to miss my low intelligent poem? here, or would you? and I'm talking to my friends here, not the lady in the bank nor Hillary Clinton, nor any fake ruler of the universe, for believe me they still exist, maybe bec. of reading piles and piles of books they forgot the time, fell asleep and they woke up in the kingdom of the slaves, very funny :) or is this just a case of using me and using you? or just plain abuse in human terms, laughs. oh well. then let's coin a name for this game...the used and the abused? hmn, i'll definitely give it a thought...or better yet let's resurrect your defunct program and let your audience vote, but the problem is...do we have enough votes to seal this naming deal? i doubt it, sorry. but we can try, laughs. this if you don't care for your time to be wasted, for i definitely do :> now that's another rant for you, laughs. now can we see a high caliber poem from you? for i might be able to learn from it, you'll never know, laughs. and yeah, this is another way to air my laundry here, I'm warning you. gosh! at least i have the pity and the humanity to warn you. oh well. and i did not even remind you that this is my blog and i can do whatever i want, to air my laundry or what not :? oh well, again! at least when i do visit other journals i have respect for them, but how about you? yeah i know YOU get your inspiration in them and how low is that? intelligence, yours, in the drain...that is what it was...now a big laugh, here, for it's the truth :) so pls. don't be a troll, laughs. now see what you made me do...(^_~)...no good. you disturbed my supposedly blogging vacation...intentionally? or just a plain... twisted brain classics in the works here. congrats! it worked, but...if you're that intelligent, you shouldn't lay your eyes on lowly slaves, go for your co-rulers, but i meant the true rulers here, alright? or are you afraid and don't have the balls and the guts? now to me that is really dumb... :) please stop! challenge your match for a change...not one like me here going into hibernation, laughs. oh well. or you do really want me to be around, hmn. now you know the trick :> and you and me are different, i'm living in reality here on earth and you're not, for you are in a no man's land kingdom, fakingly ruling it! and that is only the beginning of our differences, laughs. i'm not a fake ruler, although i'm an old slave, and that is common knowledge. shall we continue? :> but i would rather not. you really ZAP my will to leave this blogging world...and I'm pretty sure you don't want me to be around, laughs. now if you pls. excuse me, I'd like to be back in hibernation and pls. don't wake me up too soon with your similes or what not. and you forgot that you can laundry yours too, if you wish and want :? now if your IQ is really shooting up that roof, you don't need me to remind you that. you laundry yours and i do mine and that's exactly what i did. really and truly and you even watched me doing mine. but mine are not metaphors or similes, they are dead ringer realities, for i don't rule in fakes and i don't deal in fakes as well. but you certainly do, hiding in similes or metaphors like a coward, a bad cheat. wow! please...help me leave by moving me out of your radar's reach, i know you'll say I'm just imagining things, see? my IQ did not fail me yet, laughs. oh well. and i'm tired of charades and plays, now that is the truth... *}

adding up the years :)

One day in July, of old 1955, yes, that was the day when i saw the first light of day for the very first time, now 52 y/o, your mom :> and i meant this to J.C. :) Oh well...just facing the facts, the truth of getting old :) but not really that bad, for i took care of myself as you can see, laughs. but, or although...
***
I really need Dra. Belo soon :> No kidding. Well, at least I know that things needed to be fixed, but the problem is I just don't care being under the knife, so there must be some alternatives out there, to look a little better I mean, laughs. Oh well. So you could tell that middle age sucks, laughs, which all of us will have to go through and suffer, no exception, not unless your time is up so early in this life's journey, and also if we're lucky to be alive, happy and healthy :)... taken 10-14-'07
***
On the cooler days of autumn, I'm already missing the warmer summertime and so are the bright colors of spring. You can tell with my color choices, laughs. Oh well. Life flies so fast, J.C. and me noticed...

when all there is...

when all there is, is just the wind
that blows beneath your skin
when all there is are just dreams
that make your hot head spin

when all there is are just songs
to soothe your mind and soul
when all there is are only words
like hearts without a home

when all there is, is just you
looking up above that sky
that longs and hopes for dreams
to come and stay by at your side

when all there is, are merely words
that's just full of make believes
like fictional, created characters
untrue, unreal and just imaginings

like plastic flowers without a smell
like broken promises in the air
like fake smiles and made up grins
no truths but lies that's all there is...

hmn, what a sad poem, like plastic goodbyes, unreal and untrue. but really, life sometimes is just full of "when all there is" i think so...sad and sapping the smiles and life out of you...this if you let it get the better of you...so ladies and gents know the fakes and the real...that's the solution :) and say goodbye like you mean it :> now reminds me of the phrase, "see you later alligator" "after awhile crocodile" laughs. oh well. better this goodbye, don't you think? I'll take that any time than that permanent adios which is death, for, we can never have any control over death for only God does...if your time is up, young or old, rich or poor, dumb or genius, pretty or ugly, you'll have to go, you'll have to leave this earth, no ifs nor buts... so false goodbyes...I'll take you anytime...(^_~)...

for that final goodbye

at early dawn when all is quiet
and still
all bags packed up and ready
to leave
just one more time your eyes
fixed gaze
revolved around all too familiar
place

it hurts but life has to move on
advanced
it pains a lot but it has to be done
transpired
all for the good for you and for all your
loves
what a noble move from you
a sacrifice

goodbye sweet place of happiness
adios all friends and relatives
who knows when we will ever meet
again to see each other in this universe

God has the key to all of these
the one, the ruler of this earth
He alone knows and only He can tell
for He alone holds the future...of all...of everything...

for all travelers in time and space :)

up and down

one day i opened my eyes
and there you are
walking in the sand
barefoot, breathing alive

one night i closed my eyes
and there you are
a dream in the shadows
in no man's land

slowly the stars appear
but quickly they disappear
no twinkling light that night
no flickering light that night

one day the sun was there
for several days, it burned
but came the storm the wind
black clouds that hid that sheen

in circles the earth rotates
in circles the mind thinks
in circles, in flip flops, up and down
a merry go round, life on earth IS...

shadows in the shade

unseen, surreal
surrogate
white, paper thin
so clear
smoky seeping
through the
leaves
souls in hiding
like prisoners

windy and wild
that night
gushes of air
so cold so hot
trickles of sweat
and tears
flowing trickling
in drips

love in the shadows
love in the rain
love in the moon
love in a train
love unmeasured
love undefined
now love lost, forgotten
and can't be found...

while I'm at it, making poems? about love, for love is a hot topic and we knew that, laughs. oh well. love is happiness and sadness combined. how true :) and i noticed i can write and write poems? in succession in a very short time, laughs. not good for my mind is on the run, laughs. oh well, again. but who is counting? no one, so there you go. no one minds then? :> of course for it's just me talking to myself here :) I'm insane? hmn, not yet, so far, laughs. really these are all for entertainment purposes, clear? so click out if it's otherwise for you :)

and thanks for the dinner today guys! it was great and fun, the food was superb :) lucy, rose and bert and of course the birthday girl esther and her son patrick... happy b-day and a blessed day to you soon, enjoy your day as well :>

and this poem is good for two prominent politicians that were rumored to be living in the shadows, laughs...too light for I'm too kind...now, when God had sprinkled love they must have caught more than one, like when God sprinkled special kids like Michael, i got one. this is how i explained the presence of Michael in my life :) and this is just a good of an explanation for me...I'm happy and sad at the same time, but at peace. he is with me and God only knows the reason why...and with his help the struggle is not that heavy to overcome...for God is always there, and he always care :)

love defined

love is sadness
when one is gone
love is tears when
one gone wild
love is giving and
sacrifice
love is happiness
for the one you loved

love is a singing sparrow on a tree
love is a rainbow after a stormy day
love is a flower that blooms so free
love is the sun that shines constantly

love is pink, red and blue
love is a smile and laughter for you
love is present come storm and hail
love is a hug when you're sad and sick

love is about the good and the bad
that you experienced in this life
that after all these come to pass
still you can smile at each other and laugh

love is a feeling undefined
love is a caring unsurpassed
again, love is giving and sacrifice
and true love is like the love that Jesus gave to all of us...

more than one

more than one
for just one heart
more to mourn
when you're cold and gone

more tears for one
when he departs
what a life
it must be a blast

or it's just a kind
of living your life, wild
one roof for every night
one damsel there at your side

wait, but can you remember their names
wait, if asked who is first and who is last
what will be your answer
don't know for there are lots

it's hard to believe
that one heart can beat
for more than one Adam
and for more than one Eve

for one heart only beats for one love
as one dream can only come from one brain
as one life is only given to every man
as one love was all there was for Adam...

this is inspired by the practice of many wives for Muslim guys...and how about women? now there is discrimination in this religion, and I'm not laughing here...

the view...

...in my window, today. turned golden leaves of a maple tree and turned browned leaves of the sycamore tree. then, balls, yes plenty of balls will be hanging out in these branches. the same seeds that were flewn by an apollo mission out to that sky. hmn, with so many seeds around these are the annointed ones, kinda, sorta the chosen ones :> it must be some kind of seeds these are, laughs...oh well.

...now you knew that my dell computer with that vista thing is near my window with a view :) the only thing is my blog can't be seen for i forgot to turn the lights on. sorry, for you missed my very own yellow sunflower, my wallpaper. i meant to show you that. but it doesn't mean to be and i refused to re-shoot :> and don't forget to pause my blog music or else you can hear "two" same song in play...a not so nice of a tune for your ears, believe me :>

life goes on

fantasy, reality, dreams
adorn your breath
sweet smile of success
follow after these
although once in awhile
comes defeat

push and move on
the day will spin
as it goes along
taking you with it
who knows if tomorrow
will bring the fantasy now
that you've ever dreamed

so never lose faith
if it's meant to be
it will happen
look up, wait and pray
that your fantasy will turn
into reality with God's will

this if you're kind enough
this if you're good enough
the next time a chance
will be there but remember
life is fleeting for maids like me
and for everyone as well

the next day or tomorrow
may not be yours and for all of us
to keep, but hope that it will be there
waiting, waiting for you
for all of us, for them
so that your dreams, and theirs
will be fulfilled

so think positive, always hope
that you, and all of us will WIN!

but again this if GOD thinks
that we are deserving
in our thoughts
in our words
and in our hearts
and if we were
kind to our fellows
here on earth

now this is a poem
out of rhyme
and out of rhythm
but who cares, only me of course
and my love ones who respect me
as a human being :>

and besides i am not a poet
only one who loves to juggle
and to spin words at will...

so there you go, the things that you find and read in here, laughs. oh well. but i hope it did entertain and made you smile and laugh as well...then my efforts weren't put in vain, but if not, i wouldn't even shed a tear :) for I'm not shy at times but bold and fair...

Kid Rocks

Punk Rocker, Kid Rock and Sheryl Crow in "Picture" a Michigander like Madonna, I just known this recently when he was interviewed at Larry King Live last week promoting his new album of songs where in God is at the center :) So in his honor, a kinda nice song here, a duet...

i woke up

after a long pause
of a sleep
i woke up
after a dream
so vivid and so sad
i woke up

i can't say why
but suddenly
a jolt, a very cold
draft woke me up
to the real world
to the real stuff

thankfully i say
to the cold
you've saved me
happily i say to
the draft you've
caught me

just in time for me to cry
just in time for me to plunge
just in time for me to suffer
to a nightmare unsurpassed

so thanks so much to the cold
and to the draft :)

silence after all those years

just an airy absence of sounds now
even chirpy crickets are out
standing still are only slabs
of cemented towers
built for great loves

just a name neatly printed in style
spelled the marks of an ended life
of a soul that had to depart
a temporary dweller on earth
just passed

gone are the big bright smiles
gone are the long laughter that shines
only silence now surrounds
the house, the home where you've
lived and worked at

when will we see you again
when will we touch you again
when can we love you again
when... dad... pls. tell us
when...

But of course we knew that you can't... so rest in peace, dad...
This is an exception, no fun for me for this is truly a sad poem...

positively paradise

sweet scents of pastel flowers
gloriously thumbing at your nose
while a colorful rainbow
rising up not close

shimmering sunshine
of the sun above
glowing, flickering
like flying fireflies

light drizzle of rain
that touched your skin
turned to dew like, golden
rested on those greens

heart shaped leaves
of a favorite plant
waving gently as
the wind whisked by

garden of Eden
home of love
no sins, no hell here
all and only paradise

where a smile
is there to shine
plus sounds of
laughter...

echoing
and reigning
on this alluring
land...

poems that make me laugh, gosh! what more if these true poets can read them, now I'm imagining heads moving sideways in disapproval, laughs. Oh well, at least I'm trying hard... that's all I can say :> better than nothing to adorn my so called web page :) of only nothing if I may add...

Madonna

Yes, I'd like to think about Christmas now as "forced" by 100.3 WNIC, the official Motor City X-mas Station who starts playing all yuletide songs comes Nov. 1st every year. And I'd like to start with the worldly Madonna almost my age, if you think 3 years is almost for I do, laughs. Another fellow Michigander like Kid Rock the younger guy but I bet he knows and had experienced most of everything in spite of his age :) So of course you'd like to start with your own kababayans, like ka-live-ins if your brain is wired just like mine ...(^_~)...

A sleazy song, but hey... with her "3" counts of BF's- lovers and a husband now, you can tell that this lady had seen it, been there and done that, laughs. Oh well. :) I knew I'm right. Anyone who counts BF's had done that either and we can call them "experienced" in that cupid arena. Do you disagree? If ever let me know :) So we need to be very careful with the words we use, laughs. It brings back lovely memories :)

Okay, I hope you'll love this song titled "Santa Baby" as I do. Well done, Madonna! And the next song will be from the much maligned and much criticized, who else? Mariah Carey. I love to defend the downtrodden music divas. For they don't really deserve to be put down...and if we begin to stick our tongues out to others, that tongue will boomerang back hitting us. As if it has a righteous mind of its own, maybe driven by the spirit of goodness. And you wouldn't want me to mention examples here, laughs. Oh well, again, so pls. be kind. We need to show to the world that we've learned our lessons from previous sad and bad "experiences" But it looks like we never did. Too bad... So, sad to say, that we can expect repercussions... :)

Again, pls. listen attentively to the "lady of experience" doing her thing :) Hope you like it, laughs.

fiction in action

bunch of roses without fragrance
bland
winding rivers without water
all sand

smiling as an actress
acting on a script
no truth, unreal
all rehearsed

imagination on the roll
no flesh to hold
no sounds to hear
just silence floating in the air

all fakes, fabricated
all illusions so alluring
beguiling, smiling
falsely at your face...

a sad poem, this if fiction rules your world...glad for I'm a realist, how about you? :> and I think I'm kinda odd for I smile on my sad poems, laughs...it's just like a joke to me. Oh well, at least I can entertain myself :>

Missed that roof top view

One regret that I have in my years at my holy and royal pontifical university is that I never ever went to see the roof top view of the main building. A missing part that is just a wonder in my mind. Been to the library a million times, all day, and all night at times. But never to that roof top part of it. Maybe in the future, I hope so. And what a life of worries, struggle, prayers and hard work. My life in this school was. Thousands took the entrance exam, but it boiled down to just 22 sections, pre-nursing, with 50 students in each class. That is the 2 years of completing the needed pre-requisites for the internship. Then voila! From 22, it dropped down to just 10 sections, who would continue the course to the end. The rest who did not make the grades went to neighboring nursing schools whose academic requirements are not as high as this university who has a very scenic garden frontal view, a winner in my eyes, on that alone :)

***

So I was lucky, as a working student serving my master, my benefactor, the lady with a golden heart, a mother Mary look alike, plus academic work, I'm so thankful to God that I wasn't kicked out in this prestigious Catholic university who has the lowest failure rate when taking the nursing board exams here in the U.S. whom a lot of Filipino takers fail. I took it only once so with the CGFNS, a visa requirement by the U.S. embassy in stamping an entry here to work as a nurse. Indeed, "God is watching me, from a distance" as Bette Midler sang :) Thank YOU sooo much :> to you up there!

***

Back to the roof top view. Aren't these two powder puff flowers look like or similar at least to a pretty pair of vernaculars or "sunglasses" for me to use if that day comes? Where that cross is, on that tower, on top...the view must be awfully awesome I would imagine :)

***

And I always post a lot, and I mean a lot, of nonsense crap in here, laughs. So you know what to do if you're unhappy, just click out, for this is my journal and I can do whatever I want, clear? laughs. Oh well. Journals are outlets of the mind as I know that now. So I am making use of it for now as much as I wish or want :) But who knows if that will change soon, if I get tired posting about nothing and that time is not yet today for sure. It might be tomorrow you know, who knows, only me of course, laughs. So you'll just have to wait and see, laughs, but of course I'm just joking here. Don't worry, for I'll stop eventually... (^_~)...be patient. But again don't come here if you're not into my craps, okidoki? This is as clear as that shining sun up there on a sunny day. But thanks to those who are with me...I sure do love YOU! :> and where are my sunglasses look alike powder puffs? did somebody delete them? I'll check when I get home from work, laughs...I really miss them...

***

Okay, there, I put it back. Hmn, I wonder what happened, why it disappeared without me taking it out, hmn, hmn, hmn... And I was thinking about a good New Year's resolution next year. Not to post that much, laughs, that's it. Yes, that is a good one. I'll try :> but you know resolutions are meant to be broken anyhow. Yes, yes, yes, it's been that way for the longest as I remember. I won't smoke anymore said one co-worker. But lo and behold, it's not even New Year yet and there she goes puffin' that stick, laughs. Oh well...think about that! So I concluded it's a losing proposition, like promises, they are there to be broken. But I will try to win it :> Just watch :)