Ciao

after a life in this universe
after all the laughter and the tears
time spent went like a pouring rain
it flowed, it dripped, it drained

been together through the years
inspite the problems and the pains
fought, smiled and reconciled
till the time has come to part

days went by bathed by the sun
happiness was here but now it's gone
sadness soared over joy in our hearts
as cold nights took over covered us

no more left to say as silence reigned
dark universe prevailed and poised to win
love was not enough to keep us in
together for always as we planned then

be lovers or friends it's hard to part
to end a life that we used to have
death as despicable now must come
in relationships whatever that was

goodbyes, adios taste bitter as bile
closing a door behind, that's painfully hard
tho' think about the dawn of days to come
not spent in darkness, a liberation, that is freedom :)

goodbyes are means of opening doors to a much more meaningful hellos...

one and first, 12-21-'07

time ticked away so fast
fast as a soaring jet above
above those clouds so thick
thick as a mind can't predict

predict a one year of words
words that jot down a world
world of a fleeting life
life that is all but timed

timed eyes that stalk and peek
peek in an invisible streak
streak of technology that hide
hide a face in this wide universe

universe that see them as real
real but behind the veil
veil of anonymosity like tricks
tricks like magic not real

real but only in your eyes
eyes that can't see for it's blind
blind to the sights and sounds
sounds of a wandering heart

heart that writes what it's like
like an ocean, that endless vast
vast that travels far and wide
wide as this earth can provide

one not two but first
first if you count in numbers
numbers that fire a math
math which counts a record

a record that jots down a life
a life of ranks in one's eyes
eyes of one person like me
me that wants to greet my first year anniversary!

"happy b-day M&M!" a so called shabby poem for you :) to celebrate your one year of existence, a poor poem but still it's cool...for it's better than nothing :> i think so...and i knew you don't care, laughs.

tales of a slave

bitter sweet taste
of tears streaming
down your cheeks
dry and cracked palms
of your hands
cupping your sad face
with IQ so low
just bottomless
under the charts
but does your heart
beats similar to them
and theirs as always?

body that's badly
beaten and bruised
body that's tortured
tricked and thrown
with red puffy eyes
bleeding in pain
with silent sobs
heard in the drain
tired and humiliated
arms stretched out for help
but only the angels
the cherubims of God answered...

yup, a hanging and a drying poem? in the life of a slave. aired in a clothes line where your dirty laundry is being dried and this made me return so quick. tsk! too bad, against my will if I may add, but you wouldn't want to miss my low intelligent poem? here, or would you? and I'm talking to my friends here, not the lady in the bank nor Hillary Clinton, nor any fake ruler of the universe, for believe me they still exist, maybe bec. of reading piles and piles of books they forgot the time, fell asleep and they woke up in the kingdom of the slaves, very funny :) or is this just a case of using me and using you? or just plain abuse in human terms, laughs. oh well. then let's coin a name for this game...the used and the abused? hmn, i'll definitely give it a thought...or better yet let's resurrect your defunct program and let your audience vote, but the problem is...do we have enough votes to seal this naming deal? i doubt it, sorry. but we can try, laughs. this if you don't care for your time to be wasted, for i definitely do :> now that's another rant for you, laughs. now can we see a high caliber poem from you? for i might be able to learn from it, you'll never know, laughs. and yeah, this is another way to air my laundry here, I'm warning you. gosh! at least i have the pity and the humanity to warn you. oh well. and i did not even remind you that this is my blog and i can do whatever i want, to air my laundry or what not :? oh well, again! at least when i do visit other journals i have respect for them, but how about you? yeah i know YOU get your inspiration in them and how low is that? intelligence, yours, in the drain...that is what it was...now a big laugh, here, for it's the truth :) so pls. don't be a troll, laughs. now see what you made me do...(^_~)...no good. you disturbed my supposedly blogging vacation...intentionally? or just a plain... twisted brain classics in the works here. congrats! it worked, but...if you're that intelligent, you shouldn't lay your eyes on lowly slaves, go for your co-rulers, but i meant the true rulers here, alright? or are you afraid and don't have the balls and the guts? now to me that is really dumb... :) please stop! challenge your match for a change...not one like me here going into hibernation, laughs. oh well. or you do really want me to be around, hmn. now you know the trick :> and you and me are different, i'm living in reality here on earth and you're not, for you are in a no man's land kingdom, fakingly ruling it! and that is only the beginning of our differences, laughs. i'm not a fake ruler, although i'm an old slave, and that is common knowledge. shall we continue? :> but i would rather not. you really ZAP my will to leave this blogging world...and I'm pretty sure you don't want me to be around, laughs. now if you pls. excuse me, I'd like to be back in hibernation and pls. don't wake me up too soon with your similes or what not. and you forgot that you can laundry yours too, if you wish and want :? now if your IQ is really shooting up that roof, you don't need me to remind you that. you laundry yours and i do mine and that's exactly what i did. really and truly and you even watched me doing mine. but mine are not metaphors or similes, they are dead ringer realities, for i don't rule in fakes and i don't deal in fakes as well. but you certainly do, hiding in similes or metaphors like a coward, a bad cheat. wow! please...help me leave by moving me out of your radar's reach, i know you'll say I'm just imagining things, see? my IQ did not fail me yet, laughs. oh well. and i'm tired of charades and plays, now that is the truth... *}

adding up the years :)

One day in July, of old 1955, yes, that was the day when i saw the first light of day for the very first time, now 52 y/o, your mom :> and i meant this to J.C. :) Oh well...just facing the facts, the truth of getting old :) but not really that bad, for i took care of myself as you can see, laughs. but, or although...
***
I really need Dra. Belo soon :> No kidding. Well, at least I know that things needed to be fixed, but the problem is I just don't care being under the knife, so there must be some alternatives out there, to look a little better I mean, laughs. Oh well. So you could tell that middle age sucks, laughs, which all of us will have to go through and suffer, no exception, not unless your time is up so early in this life's journey, and also if we're lucky to be alive, happy and healthy :)... taken 10-14-'07
***
On the cooler days of autumn, I'm already missing the warmer summertime and so are the bright colors of spring. You can tell with my color choices, laughs. Oh well. Life flies so fast, J.C. and me noticed...

when all there is...

when all there is, is just the wind
that blows beneath your skin
when all there is are just dreams
that make your hot head spin

when all there is are just songs
to soothe your mind and soul
when all there is are only words
like hearts without a home

when all there is, is just you
looking up above that sky
that longs and hopes for dreams
to come and stay by at your side

when all there is, are merely words
that's just full of make believes
like fictional, created characters
untrue, unreal and just imaginings

like plastic flowers without a smell
like broken promises in the air
like fake smiles and made up grins
no truths but lies that's all there is...

hmn, what a sad poem, like plastic goodbyes, unreal and untrue. but really, life sometimes is just full of "when all there is" i think so...sad and sapping the smiles and life out of you...this if you let it get the better of you...so ladies and gents know the fakes and the real...that's the solution :) and say goodbye like you mean it :> now reminds me of the phrase, "see you later alligator" "after awhile crocodile" laughs. oh well. better this goodbye, don't you think? I'll take that any time than that permanent adios which is death, for, we can never have any control over death for only God does...if your time is up, young or old, rich or poor, dumb or genius, pretty or ugly, you'll have to go, you'll have to leave this earth, no ifs nor buts... so false goodbyes...I'll take you anytime...(^_~)...

for that final goodbye

at early dawn when all is quiet
and still
all bags packed up and ready
to leave
just one more time your eyes
fixed gaze
revolved around all too familiar
place

it hurts but life has to move on
advanced
it pains a lot but it has to be done
transpired
all for the good for you and for all your
loves
what a noble move from you
a sacrifice

goodbye sweet place of happiness
adios all friends and relatives
who knows when we will ever meet
again to see each other in this universe

God has the key to all of these
the one, the ruler of this earth
He alone knows and only He can tell
for He alone holds the future...of all...of everything...

for all travelers in time and space :)

up and down

one day i opened my eyes
and there you are
walking in the sand
barefoot, breathing alive

one night i closed my eyes
and there you are
a dream in the shadows
in no man's land

slowly the stars appear
but quickly they disappear
no twinkling light that night
no flickering light that night

one day the sun was there
for several days, it burned
but came the storm the wind
black clouds that hid that sheen

in circles the earth rotates
in circles the mind thinks
in circles, in flip flops, up and down
a merry go round, life on earth IS...

shadows in the shade

unseen, surreal
surrogate
white, paper thin
so clear
smoky seeping
through the
leaves
souls in hiding
like prisoners

windy and wild
that night
gushes of air
so cold so hot
trickles of sweat
and tears
flowing trickling
in drips

love in the shadows
love in the rain
love in the moon
love in a train
love unmeasured
love undefined
now love lost, forgotten
and can't be found...

while I'm at it, making poems? about love, for love is a hot topic and we knew that, laughs. oh well. love is happiness and sadness combined. how true :) and i noticed i can write and write poems? in succession in a very short time, laughs. not good for my mind is on the run, laughs. oh well, again. but who is counting? no one, so there you go. no one minds then? :> of course for it's just me talking to myself here :) I'm insane? hmn, not yet, so far, laughs. really these are all for entertainment purposes, clear? so click out if it's otherwise for you :)

and thanks for the dinner today guys! it was great and fun, the food was superb :) lucy, rose and bert and of course the birthday girl esther and her son patrick... happy b-day and a blessed day to you soon, enjoy your day as well :>

and this poem is good for two prominent politicians that were rumored to be living in the shadows, laughs...too light for I'm too kind...now, when God had sprinkled love they must have caught more than one, like when God sprinkled special kids like Michael, i got one. this is how i explained the presence of Michael in my life :) and this is just a good of an explanation for me...I'm happy and sad at the same time, but at peace. he is with me and God only knows the reason why...and with his help the struggle is not that heavy to overcome...for God is always there, and he always care :)

love defined

love is sadness
when one is gone
love is tears when
one gone wild
love is giving and
sacrifice
love is happiness
for the one you loved

love is a singing sparrow on a tree
love is a rainbow after a stormy day
love is a flower that blooms so free
love is the sun that shines constantly

love is pink, red and blue
love is a smile and laughter for you
love is present come storm and hail
love is a hug when you're sad and sick

love is about the good and the bad
that you experienced in this life
that after all these come to pass
still you can smile at each other and laugh

love is a feeling undefined
love is a caring unsurpassed
again, love is giving and sacrifice
and true love is like the love that Jesus gave to all of us...

more than one

more than one
for just one heart
more to mourn
when you're cold and gone

more tears for one
when he departs
what a life
it must be a blast

or it's just a kind
of living your life, wild
one roof for every night
one damsel there at your side

wait, but can you remember their names
wait, if asked who is first and who is last
what will be your answer
don't know for there are lots

it's hard to believe
that one heart can beat
for more than one Adam
and for more than one Eve

for one heart only beats for one love
as one dream can only come from one brain
as one life is only given to every man
as one love was all there was for Adam...

this is inspired by the practice of many wives for Muslim guys...and how about women? now there is discrimination in this religion, and I'm not laughing here...

the view...

...in my window, today. turned golden leaves of a maple tree and turned browned leaves of the sycamore tree. then, balls, yes plenty of balls will be hanging out in these branches. the same seeds that were flewn by an apollo mission out to that sky. hmn, with so many seeds around these are the annointed ones, kinda, sorta the chosen ones :> it must be some kind of seeds these are, laughs...oh well.

...now you knew that my dell computer with that vista thing is near my window with a view :) the only thing is my blog can't be seen for i forgot to turn the lights on. sorry, for you missed my very own yellow sunflower, my wallpaper. i meant to show you that. but it doesn't mean to be and i refused to re-shoot :> and don't forget to pause my blog music or else you can hear "two" same song in play...a not so nice of a tune for your ears, believe me :>

life goes on

fantasy, reality, dreams
adorn your breath
sweet smile of success
follow after these
although once in awhile
comes defeat

push and move on
the day will spin
as it goes along
taking you with it
who knows if tomorrow
will bring the fantasy now
that you've ever dreamed

so never lose faith
if it's meant to be
it will happen
look up, wait and pray
that your fantasy will turn
into reality with God's will

this if you're kind enough
this if you're good enough
the next time a chance
will be there but remember
life is fleeting for maids like me
and for everyone as well

the next day or tomorrow
may not be yours and for all of us
to keep, but hope that it will be there
waiting, waiting for you
for all of us, for them
so that your dreams, and theirs
will be fulfilled

so think positive, always hope
that you, and all of us will WIN!

but again this if GOD thinks
that we are deserving
in our thoughts
in our words
and in our hearts
and if we were
kind to our fellows
here on earth

now this is a poem
out of rhyme
and out of rhythm
but who cares, only me of course
and my love ones who respect me
as a human being :>

and besides i am not a poet
only one who loves to juggle
and to spin words at will...

so there you go, the things that you find and read in here, laughs. oh well. but i hope it did entertain and made you smile and laugh as well...then my efforts weren't put in vain, but if not, i wouldn't even shed a tear :) for I'm not shy at times but bold and fair...

Kid Rocks

Punk Rocker, Kid Rock and Sheryl Crow in "Picture" a Michigander like Madonna, I just known this recently when he was interviewed at Larry King Live last week promoting his new album of songs where in God is at the center :) So in his honor, a kinda nice song here, a duet...

i woke up

after a long pause
of a sleep
i woke up
after a dream
so vivid and so sad
i woke up

i can't say why
but suddenly
a jolt, a very cold
draft woke me up
to the real world
to the real stuff

thankfully i say
to the cold
you've saved me
happily i say to
the draft you've
caught me

just in time for me to cry
just in time for me to plunge
just in time for me to suffer
to a nightmare unsurpassed

so thanks so much to the cold
and to the draft :)

silence after all those years

just an airy absence of sounds now
even chirpy crickets are out
standing still are only slabs
of cemented towers
built for great loves

just a name neatly printed in style
spelled the marks of an ended life
of a soul that had to depart
a temporary dweller on earth
just passed

gone are the big bright smiles
gone are the long laughter that shines
only silence now surrounds
the house, the home where you've
lived and worked at

when will we see you again
when will we touch you again
when can we love you again
when... dad... pls. tell us
when...

But of course we knew that you can't... so rest in peace, dad...
This is an exception, no fun for me for this is truly a sad poem...

positively paradise

sweet scents of pastel flowers
gloriously thumbing at your nose
while a colorful rainbow
rising up not close

shimmering sunshine
of the sun above
glowing, flickering
like flying fireflies

light drizzle of rain
that touched your skin
turned to dew like, golden
rested on those greens

heart shaped leaves
of a favorite plant
waving gently as
the wind whisked by

garden of Eden
home of love
no sins, no hell here
all and only paradise

where a smile
is there to shine
plus sounds of
laughter...

echoing
and reigning
on this alluring
land...

poems that make me laugh, gosh! what more if these true poets can read them, now I'm imagining heads moving sideways in disapproval, laughs. Oh well, at least I'm trying hard... that's all I can say :> better than nothing to adorn my so called web page :) of only nothing if I may add...

Madonna

Yes, I'd like to think about Christmas now as "forced" by 100.3 WNIC, the official Motor City X-mas Station who starts playing all yuletide songs comes Nov. 1st every year. And I'd like to start with the worldly Madonna almost my age, if you think 3 years is almost for I do, laughs. Another fellow Michigander like Kid Rock the younger guy but I bet he knows and had experienced most of everything in spite of his age :) So of course you'd like to start with your own kababayans, like ka-live-ins if your brain is wired just like mine ...(^_~)...

A sleazy song, but hey... with her "3" counts of BF's- lovers and a husband now, you can tell that this lady had seen it, been there and done that, laughs. Oh well. :) I knew I'm right. Anyone who counts BF's had done that either and we can call them "experienced" in that cupid arena. Do you disagree? If ever let me know :) So we need to be very careful with the words we use, laughs. It brings back lovely memories :)

Okay, I hope you'll love this song titled "Santa Baby" as I do. Well done, Madonna! And the next song will be from the much maligned and much criticized, who else? Mariah Carey. I love to defend the downtrodden music divas. For they don't really deserve to be put down...and if we begin to stick our tongues out to others, that tongue will boomerang back hitting us. As if it has a righteous mind of its own, maybe driven by the spirit of goodness. And you wouldn't want me to mention examples here, laughs. Oh well, again, so pls. be kind. We need to show to the world that we've learned our lessons from previous sad and bad "experiences" But it looks like we never did. Too bad... So, sad to say, that we can expect repercussions... :)

Again, pls. listen attentively to the "lady of experience" doing her thing :) Hope you like it, laughs.

fiction in action

bunch of roses without fragrance
bland
winding rivers without water
all sand

smiling as an actress
acting on a script
no truth, unreal
all rehearsed

imagination on the roll
no flesh to hold
no sounds to hear
just silence floating in the air

all fakes, fabricated
all illusions so alluring
beguiling, smiling
falsely at your face...

a sad poem, this if fiction rules your world...glad for I'm a realist, how about you? :> and I think I'm kinda odd for I smile on my sad poems, laughs...it's just like a joke to me. Oh well, at least I can entertain myself :>

Missed that roof top view

One regret that I have in my years at my holy and royal pontifical university is that I never ever went to see the roof top view of the main building. A missing part that is just a wonder in my mind. Been to the library a million times, all day, and all night at times. But never to that roof top part of it. Maybe in the future, I hope so. And what a life of worries, struggle, prayers and hard work. My life in this school was. Thousands took the entrance exam, but it boiled down to just 22 sections, pre-nursing, with 50 students in each class. That is the 2 years of completing the needed pre-requisites for the internship. Then voila! From 22, it dropped down to just 10 sections, who would continue the course to the end. The rest who did not make the grades went to neighboring nursing schools whose academic requirements are not as high as this university who has a very scenic garden frontal view, a winner in my eyes, on that alone :)

***

So I was lucky, as a working student serving my master, my benefactor, the lady with a golden heart, a mother Mary look alike, plus academic work, I'm so thankful to God that I wasn't kicked out in this prestigious Catholic university who has the lowest failure rate when taking the nursing board exams here in the U.S. whom a lot of Filipino takers fail. I took it only once so with the CGFNS, a visa requirement by the U.S. embassy in stamping an entry here to work as a nurse. Indeed, "God is watching me, from a distance" as Bette Midler sang :) Thank YOU sooo much :> to you up there!

***

Back to the roof top view. Aren't these two powder puff flowers look like or similar at least to a pretty pair of vernaculars or "sunglasses" for me to use if that day comes? Where that cross is, on that tower, on top...the view must be awfully awesome I would imagine :)

***

And I always post a lot, and I mean a lot, of nonsense crap in here, laughs. So you know what to do if you're unhappy, just click out, for this is my journal and I can do whatever I want, clear? laughs. Oh well. Journals are outlets of the mind as I know that now. So I am making use of it for now as much as I wish or want :) But who knows if that will change soon, if I get tired posting about nothing and that time is not yet today for sure. It might be tomorrow you know, who knows, only me of course, laughs. So you'll just have to wait and see, laughs, but of course I'm just joking here. Don't worry, for I'll stop eventually... (^_~)...be patient. But again don't come here if you're not into my craps, okidoki? This is as clear as that shining sun up there on a sunny day. But thanks to those who are with me...I sure do love YOU! :> and where are my sunglasses look alike powder puffs? did somebody delete them? I'll check when I get home from work, laughs...I really miss them...

***

Okay, there, I put it back. Hmn, I wonder what happened, why it disappeared without me taking it out, hmn, hmn, hmn... And I was thinking about a good New Year's resolution next year. Not to post that much, laughs, that's it. Yes, that is a good one. I'll try :> but you know resolutions are meant to be broken anyhow. Yes, yes, yes, it's been that way for the longest as I remember. I won't smoke anymore said one co-worker. But lo and behold, it's not even New Year yet and there she goes puffin' that stick, laughs. Oh well...think about that! So I concluded it's a losing proposition, like promises, they are there to be broken. But I will try to win it :> Just watch :)

Diana, Princess of Love

Icon and idol
is what you are
a life so tragic
a circus so sad
full of compassion
care and of love
selfless enduring
with eyes for the poor
the downtrodden
adorned your life

You had your share
of smiles
you've been all over
world wide
you've been adored
loved, vilified
too busy too short
your life was cut
but you did it all
you gave it all, how wise

Beauty and fame
you've got
sexy and shy but glad
to hold the hands
of aids stricken souls
of sad sick children
lovingly you've hugged
you knew, you saw
that they were there
suffering in life a lot

Sadness and tears
poured out
as one fateful night
popped out
you've died and left
so sudden
so violent
in that dark tunnel
in that dark car
that crashed

So young and
so vibrant is gone
lifeless and cold
still, stiff all alone
just in a flash
you bid goodbye
no more hellos
but your memory
will always be there
in all our hearts to hold

Princess of Love
Princess of Wales
Princess Diana
the people's Princess
in all of our memories
you'll be alive there
forever and for always
until our last words
until our last glimpse
until our last breath on earth...

To Princess Diana, in her memory...

Permanent Goodbye?

To you I bid adieu, my ever dearest dad
Today I print a heart, a red and ready mark
A sign of love to you that will forever last

Those years went flipping by
Like kites flown in the sky
With memories so vivid, so colorfully inclined

You'd always stop to reprimand
Forget to pout or ever put my hand
On that pale face without a song, or ever without a smile

To dress my heart with hope
To push my limits to the roof
And to catch and keep the proof

Well dad here I am today
With head held high so free
For I did not disappoint nor did I forsake thee

With little lasting laurels
I crown my head barely
A few God given gift, one of poetry maybe

Dad today I smiled at last
Of thoughts that you've died
For finally I've realized... that God is at your side...

A previous poem, dedicated to my dad who truly loves a "smile" :)

mystery of the unknown

you hope
you pray
you wish
you believe
that life after
death exists

you wonder
you worry
that faith is
all there is

is life real
out there
is life true
after six
feet down
under?

a mystic smile
like the Mona Lisa
a cynical call
to the Madonna

the beguiling
mystery of life
the baffling
claim after life

that it will be there
that it will conquer
that death is victory
as closing your eyes
will be opening it again

again for all eternity?

waving with the wind

the storm had passed
wrecking havoc to the
land

just as the wind blown
tree forced to the
ground

the roof torn and tattered
with pieces flying from the
sky

scattering, littering
the immaculate vicinity
of the house

waving in the wind
is nature's fury
blowing at your face
a force so free

moving your feet
so strong, sickly
uprooting your body
helpless and carelessly

go, go with the wind
leave, leave with your
memory

die, die a sudden death
ending a life battered, filled
with misery...

The main church...

The church...